Black and White
by Light of the Firefly
Summary: As Aizen's insider, Nanao tries hard to keep things simple. She sticks to herself, refuses to form any attatchments, and tries to do her job. But things never go as we plan.
1. Prelude

**Black and White**

**By: Light of the Firefly**

**A Prelude**

* * *

><p><em>I'm just a step away<em>  
><em>I'm just a breath away<em>  
><em>Losing my faith today<em>  
><em>Falling off the edge today<em>

_-Skillet_

* * *

><p><strong>Present Day<strong>

* * *

><p>Nanao squeezed the ink well in a tight fist, dipping her pen slowly into its depths.<p>

She had to do this, because her hands were shaking so hard she was afraid of spilling it over.

She sat at her desk, the shared office with Captain Kyouraku empty and quiet.

It was late, all the 8th staff having left long ago. It had transformed from the warm feeling of the daylight hours, to just a room with a chill to it. She spared a moment to look around the dim space, taking in every last detail to commit to memory. The ratty couch in the corner, the large expanse of window, the other desk in the room that was rarely used for more than sleeping on. It was way too quiet, she decided. Distractingly so. She felt the silence right down to her bones, echoing and reminding her of all she was about to loose.

Blank sheet of paper in front of her. Positioning the pen over it, she froze.

Where did she start..?

Her neat characters formed on the page:

_'I never meant-'_

She tore the page from her book and crumbled it. That was not how to start such a thing. She shouldn't even be leaving any sort of message, but she couldn't do this unless she left him something.

She tried again:

_'Not all of it was an act-'_

A tear slipped out, and she violently ripped this page apart as well. God, how was she ever going to get through this?

_'I never had a choice. He has my family-'_

The pen dropped from her hand, and she sat back heavily, leaning against the chair. Her limp body tired suddenly. She fought back the tears, the sinus burn of repression almost making her choke. She roughly pulled her glasses off, and rubbed her eyes.

"Get it together." She muttered angrily to herself. She couldn't fall apart, Aizen would see right through her if she lost it now.

She could do this.

She _had _to do this.

Nanao took a moment to relax, trying so hard to collect her thoughts and separate herself from the emotional aspect. She leaned forward again, and closed her eyes, her brows knitting in her agitation.

_It's too late to change anything now, and there is nothing else I can do. I have to go on as planned. _She repeated this to herself mentally over and over, until her eyes snapped open and she purposely set her glasses back to the bridge of her nose.

Taking the pen in hand, she wrote the only thing she could think of. It hardly explained anything, but it was all she had to give him:

_'No matter what you see or hear, _

_Know that I am sorry.'_


	2. Chapter 1

**Black and White **

**By: Light of the Firefly**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

><p><em>A friend will listen to your worries, and share your thoughts when you voice them. <em>

_But a real friend will listen to what you dont say, and share in the hurts you hide from the world. _

_- Samantha Norman_

* * *

><p><strong>100-Odd Years Ago<strong>

* * *

><p>"It's very good to meet you, sir." Ise Nanao bowed respectfully to her new Captain. She had never met the famous Captain Kyouraku yet, and when her promotion came she was rather startled to be placed in the 8th. All the rumors she had heard about this man pointed to the fact that it would be a bad fit for her.<p>

No doubt Aizen had fixed the placement specifically. Although, she couldn't fathom why he would need her in the 8th. Time would tell, she was sure. This was a long assignment, after all. Trust within Soul Society takes years and years to build.

Captain Kyouraku. Here she was, in his presence. Of course Aizen had briefed her. Of course she read a file on him. Of course she picked up bits of gossip and rumors.

But nothing quite compared to being trapped under his steady gaze.

Initially, she assumed him to be a clown. She had taken in his appearance when she first entered, the pink haori draped across his broad shoulders, and that stupid hat on his head were the give always to that assumption.

Her second response, was nervousness. He was a tall and all around large man in comparison to her. She felt a little intimidated, as she has had no good experience with large, handsome men with soft smiles.

Then, instinct kicked in. Her well honed skills alerting her to the fact that he was a very dangerous person indeed. The steady thrum of his immense reatsiu was unmistakable. It was tightly controlled, but she still felt it like a force of nature in the atmosphere. He was powerful, that was obvious. One of the most powerful, from what she had heard about him.

"Ah, to you as well, my new Lieutenant!" He said cheekily, patting her head where she bowed. Nanao's face flushed by the rude gesture. He moved past her to his desk, rummaging through the drawers. She heard the clink of glass.

She straightened, watching as he poured two cups of sake, her eyes wondering over the office. The whole room was a mess, cluttered and in disorder, dusty and unkept. Just how long has he been without a second in command to have this much work built up? And didn't he do _any_ of it himself?

"I'll do my best in my new position, sir." She managed, warily taking in the endless amounts of papers piled on the Vice Captain's desk as well.

"I'm sure." He waved, unconcerned.

He came around the desk, and leaned back against it, his heavy lidded eyes taking her in head to toe. She stiffened automatically, wondering what he saw when he looked her over. "What should our first order of business be as a team, hm, Nanao-chan? How bout a drink?"

He extended the second cup to her, and she stared at it in mute shock.

"S-sir?" She questioned, meeting his amused gaze with her startled one. Did he just call her 'Nanao-chan'?

He set the second cup down when she made no move to take it.

"Not a drinker?" He guessed, taking a large pull from his own cup. "Too bad, lovely. It's a wonderful brand."

He watched her over the rim as he drank, and Nanao found herself surprised. He was no fool, she realized. She didn't miss the sharp intelligents glinting in his grey eyes, he was sizing her up behind his peaceful front.

Perhaps he would figure her out before any damage could be dealt. There was a part of her that really wished someone would find her out, just so that it would be over.

"No." She responded, wondering how much harder her 'job' would be now. He was not the idiot she had been informed he was. Aizen had mistaken. Small wonder, as the man assumed to know everything.

"Then tell me, what do you enjoy?" He asked casually, the husky note in his voice sent the young woman before him bristling.

Captain Kyouraku, for his part, was thrilled. This new Lieutenant assigned to him was a beauty, with her ink black hair and elegant features. Her eyes were an unusual shade of violet, and currently glaring at him. He smirked. He could never deny a woman in glasses, the straightforward, no-nonsense types were just too much fun to mess with. Add to that her petite, lithe stature, and he was as good as hooked.

But…there was something not right here. He couldn't place a finger on it just yet. This one was much more interesting than the last few.

"My personal hobbies are not an appropriate conversation." She said calmly, walking to her desk and wondering where she should start. There was even a pile of papers sitting on the floor. What a nightmare.

"So formal." He chuckled. She didn't realize how she baited him with her firmness. He was even more drawn to her disregard of his charm. A challenge, if you would.

"Professional." She corrected, sitting down and digging for a pen. "You obviously need to get caught up on…a _few_ things, so I will begin if your done now, sir."

"I'm hardly done. A man like me could go for hours, my Nanao-chan…" He said, tipping his drink again.

She felt her jaw clench at the statement and wondered if he was drunk. Perhaps that explained his behavior.

"Desist calling me that, sir." She ground out. "And please, refrain from saying such ridiculous things."

"Nanao-chan suits you far too perfectly!" He chuckled again, and began towards the door. "And who says that was a ridiculous statement? Quite accurate, actually. I could prove the point, if need be?"

He heard her take a deep breath and grinned. Oh yes, she would be a pleasure to have around. He would have so much fun with this one. He wondered ideally how long she would last in the position. No one has stuck around long since Lisa held the spot.

He glanced back at the small woman at the desk, stewing in her silent indignity. And it lurched his heart a bit. The glasses, the updo, the stern features. She really held a striking resemblance to his previous long standing Lieutenant. Ironic.

"I'll be out for the rest of the day. If you need anything-"

"-What about all this work?" She protested.

"Ah….well, that's why you're here, Nanao-chan!" He said happily, disappearing out the door.

She seethed, feeling her temper stir to new heights.

Yes, this placement was going to be awful. The Captain was a drunk, lazy, womanizing pervert, from what she had heard.

And her first encounter had just proved all three points.

* * *

><p><strong>The days slipped by…<strong>

Several weeks passed, and Nanao's irritation with her captain grew each day. If she didn't know better, he was going out of his way to get under her skin.

He never did his share of the work, unless she specifically cornered him and insisted he needed to sign something. She gave up asking him to write the reports. She wrote, and he signed without even reading it.

He was in various stages of intoxication at any given time of the day. Sake bottle always in hand. She wondered how he could even function with so much alcohol coursing through his system. Several mornings she arrived at the office to find him passed out, sometimes with drinking buddies laying in various spots as well. She hated those mornings, as the office always stunk of alcohol, and the hung over occupants were damn near impossible to chase out.

But, she kept her tabs on the man. He wasn't _all_ bad. He had a few redeeming factors. The whole squad seemed to have a case of hero worship for the man. He knew them all by name, never passing someone without stopping and talking with them. He was fair and treated everyone equally, she noted.

He was…kind. Truly kind, not in Aizen's fake, twisted way. Her captain was a man with a heart of gold. It was a point of his personality she didn't condemn. Even though she found it to be a flaw in one so powerful, she respected him for it.

But again, there was many negative points…

He flirted with her shamelessly, no matter how scathing her responses. If anything, her cutting remarks encouraged him further. He couldn't take a hint if his life depended on it, it seemed.

He left her flowers and candies, poems and trinkets. Almost everyday she arrived in the office to some gift on her desk. The man was relentless. She wondered how long he would keep it up.

The worse part was, he seemed to be sincerely curious about her.

He questioned her endlessly, about everything from her favorite color to her favorite season. (He hadn't asked anything overly personal just yet, more like 'getting to know you' kind of questions.) These questions came off as serious, rather than playful. He seemed genuinely interested in figuring her out. She refused to answer most of the time, which would set off a game of guessing on his part. To which he would deduce the answer by her subtle reactions to his answers. He always determined her correct reply from this method. It was impressive, really. That he watched her so closely he could name every little expression, every gesture. It was a little flattering, but mostly unnerving. Borderline creepy.

The man was nothing if not effective in his roundabout way, though.

She currently sat, working her way through the weeks-late paperwork. She had put quite a dent in the office so far, but there was just a never ending supply of the crap. But it was organized, and easy to locate things now since she started her crusade. It had been a hellish few weeks chipping away at the mess, but she had force formed some semblance of order already. She still had a long way to go.

Also currently, Captain Kyouraku lay stretched across the old couch in the corner, bare feet dangling off one end, hat pulled over his eyes.

Pretending to be asleep again. Idiot.

She didn't know why he did this. He was studying her, she could feel his eyes on her, but he kept up the charade. She was used to it at this point, he never seemed to stop his scrutiny of her. Perhaps he was suspicious, or trying to determine her worth as his second. Maybe he was actually fantasizing about her naked. Nanao wouldn't put it past him.

Regardless, he always watched her. She didn't know why, and rightly didn't care. She had her duties to perform at the 8th, as well as her 'job' Aizen assigned her. She would carry both out to perfection, and it would all be done and over with one day.

She had no intention of getting to know her captain, there was no one in Soul Society she would ever get close to. They were all as good as dead, she knew. So what was the point?

She grit her teeth at the dark train of thought, refocusing on the paperwork.

She could do this.

One day, her freedom would be at hand.

One day, she would be herself for the first time in her life.

And one day, she would walk away from this insufferable man, and never look back.

* * *

><p>Captain Kyouraku smiled a bit to himself.<p>

His Lieutenant worked away diligently, pointedly ignoring him. She knew he was staring again, the slight twitch of her eyebrow gave away her annoyance.

Oh, his Nanao-chan was clever. What a bonus.

He didn't fool her at all. She had, from the start, caught on to his antics. They were quite a match of wits, it seemed.

He was in a habit of getting people to drop their guard around him with ease. It's hard to take someone seriously when they act the way he does, after all. Most people relax pretty quick around him.

But Nanao was different.

She didn't pay much attention to anything he said, all of his outlandish comments rolled off her. The more absurd he was, the more she simply ignored him. There was no getting past her thick shell. She was always on guard with him, and everyone else too, he noticed. She was a loner to the core, never socializing.

He had asked around, even as far as people who had been in the academy with her. Seems even back then she was standoffish. The only person she seemed to have any semblance of a friendship with was Captain Aizen, who personally taught her kido on the side for years, from what he heard.

No doubt that contributed to her mastery of the demon arts. Of course, he had yet to see her engaged, but he had read all through her file. Five times, but who's counting?

He sighed, mulling over the mystery that was his lieutenant.

She was exceptionally calm and collected. He has tried everything to get a rise out of her. Some of the things he has pulled on her these last few weeks would set anyone in their right mind into a fit of rage.

But she just puts him in his place with a few well shaped words from her sharp tongue when he gets to her too much. Then turns away from him calmly, and goes back to whatever she was doing.

He was intrigued to say the least. Infatuated to say the most.

What a puzzle she was.

So cold, too. She never cracked a smile at his jokes. If anything, his humor further irritated her. It was quite a dilemma to him. He has never met someone he couldn't get to eventually. Especially a female. Most would be all over him by now. Especially with all the courting efforts he had been putting into her. The gifts, the flirting, the frequent offers for dates.

His Nanao-chan could care less, it seemed.

And he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit to wanting her. Gods, she sent his blood pooling just by crossing the room to retrieve a book from the shelf. The simplest motions, the slightest sway, and he was turning feral. She was all sleek movements, cool and confident. He wanted her like never before in his life.

He turned up the charms, and tried every trick in his (tried and true) book.

She wouldn't budge.

He wondered briefly if she truly despised him. She certainly gave off that impression. It was a possibility, but he didn't quite think that was the case. After her second week here, he knew that wasn't it.

She didn't look at him with hatred. She didn't look at him with any semblance of disgust.

No, when she looked at him, she simply looked through him. It was the eyes of someone who didn't care one way or another. When Nanao looked at him she gave the impression of a resignation within her. She carried a sorrow around her shoulders like a blanket of grief.

She was so unhappy, and he couldn't get her haunting face out of his thoughts some nights.

Well, there was nothing for it, he supposed.

She was a challenge on several fields. Its been quite a while since he was faced with such a tricky one.

Time to flex those muscles a bit.

* * *

><p><strong>Weeks turned to months…<strong>

And Nanao found that she had fallen into a routine.

Early to bed, early to rise. She was out the door before the sun was up, and in the office before anyone else.

The 8th now ran like a well oiled machine. She had single handedly tore everything apart and rebuilt it again. All the repairs had been seen to, the budget in the positives, the files were organized, the reports were completed on time, training schedules were reevaluated, the list went on and on.

Nanao was proud of herself, if she was honest.

And the squad…well, they treated her with a respect she knew she didn't deserve. They were polite when they spoke to her, eager when she worked with their training, and downright beamed with excitement when she offered a rare compliment. Even if they seemed to share the captain's love of sake, they were efficient soldiers. There was a sense of very real companionship among them.

The 8th was starting to feel like _her's, _for lack of a better word. Like she belonged somewhere, for the first time in her life. It felt like the right place for her to be.

Unlocking the door to her office, she was only mildly surprised to see her pink-clad superior draped over her desk, snoring away. His hat lay on the floor, and she bent to pick it up. Holding the rough textured item in her hands, she stared down at it as if it could tell her what she should do with it's owner. Her lips curved into a frown. The captain was just another issue all his own. Hell, she could write a novel on _that_ issue.

His soft snores punctuated the fact.

She tossed the hat next to where he laid on her desk, and moved away.

Humming quietly, she set about making tea for the day. Once the water was on, she picked up the papers from the In-Box and leafed through them absently while she waited.

Her eyes wondered to the slumbering drunk on her desk.

There was a few empty bottles laying about, but not nearly what his usual count was. She took in his loose hair, fanned across his shoulders in dark waves. She traced over his defined (if unshaven) features slowly, landing on his full lips. He really was a handsome man, in his own ruggish way.

Scowling, she glanced at the clock, wondering if it was worth it to even wake him up. She may as well move to his desk and just leave him be. At least then there would be silence in the office, instead of his hovering and pestering.

She moved away from him, and set about fixing her cup of tea. She inhaled the scent of the brew deeply as she collected her work from her desk to move it to a more…available workspace.

As she slid a paper out from under one of Captain Kyouraku's large hands, he stirred slightly, fingertips pressing the paper to the table, and she froze. He mumbled something about rabbits, and she rolled her eyes.

What did she ever do to deserve such a moron?

She yanked the paper out from under his weak grasp without a second thought, and moved on to his desk.

She heard a yawn behind her, and cursed her luck. She knew it was her own fault he was awake, but couldn't he just go back to sleep for a few hours yet?

"Naaaaaaanoooo-chan~!" His voice was gravelly from having just woken, but his cheerfulness seemed on endless supply.

"Good morning, sir." She stated, although the words were polite, her tone was clipped. This wasn't the first time he had slept here all night, and she knew it wouldn't be the last.

"Good god, what time is it?" He moaned, noticing the sky out the window was still rather dim. He rubbed at his face and straightened in her seat.

"Around 6am." She said, sitting herself in his chair, and shuffling the papers about to get started.

"Ugh. What are you doing here at this hour?" He mumbled, laying his head back to his folded arms.

"I'm here everyday at this hour."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Why?" He sounded shocked, and she glanced over at him. Although his head was down, it was turned in her direction and his eyes were focused on her. She tried not to look away too quick. She didn't like being under his watchful gaze, but she didn't want him knowing it got to her either.

"I like to get started early."

"A morning person?" He teased.

"Indeed, sir."

"And why are you sitting over there on this fine morning?" He seemed amused by her new spot, rather than offended. Another decent point: He wasn't badge heavy in his position.

"Why are you on my desk?" She shot back, looking back to her work. He chuckled, glancing down at said piece of furniture.

"Ah, so I am." Although he still made no move to remove himself.

But, when he was being tame, his company wasn't too intolerable, she admitted to herself.

"There is a pot of tea in the kitchen." She mentioned, and he smiled. She was offering him a drink, which was a first. It was a new development, he mused.

"Perfect." He said, pleased with the inch she had just given him. He rose and made his way there to fix a cup.

Nanao watched his movements out of the corner of her eye. He didn't look hungover at all.

She turned her gaze away, shaking her head at herself. Offered him a drink? Why did she just encourage the man?

"You seem tense, Nanao-chan. What are you working on?" He asked, seating himself on the couch and kicking his feet up to the small table in front of it.

"Our work, obviously."

"Such a grouch in the morning, eh?" He laughed, taking a sip of the hot liquid in his hand.

She spared a moment to glare at him over the rim of her glasses, before turning back to the papers. "You do look tense, though. I could rub your shoulders?"

"That's quite alright."

"Feet?"

"Absolutely not."

"Any other part of your lovely body?"

"Sir…" She growled, cutting off the nasty remark on her tongue.

"It's all in jest." He assured, smiling warmly at her. It was hard for her to remain upset when he gave her his sincere looks. It did, however, further add to her discomfort around him. He was a pervert one moment, and an honest man the next.

"Well, kindly keep it to yourself." She muttered, eying him warily.

"Anything for you." He winked, and she looked away quickly to hide the slight pinking of her cheeks.

He, of course, noticed it. And his smile brightened. She looked beautiful with the slight flush.

A silence settled over them, both lost to their thoughts.

Nanao's on her work, Shunsui's on her.

Yesterday had been a bad day for him. It was an anniversary of sorts. Lisa-chan had gone missing 20 years prior on that day. And the guilt hung with him like a second skin.

He hadn't drank himself to passing out last night. Quite the opposite, really.

He had left the bars, wanting to be alone with his melancholy thoughts. Some days, the past takes its toll on his tired mind. Yesterday was one of those days.

He had walked aimlessly, and found himself in the office late last night. And upon entering, his thoughts had shifted quite quickly to his lieutenant. He had seated himself at her desk, and leaned back in full brooding mode. Her personal space in their office was void of anything personal, ironically. Nothing but work waited in these drawers, no picture frames lining the top.

She was so simple, but so complicated.

She was an enigma to him, and it was starting to consume his days. He wasn't sure what else to try to win her over, and not just romantically. Just a simple friendship would be favorable. For now. Anything, really.

But, his Nanao-chan was simply not willing to open up to him.

He had taken a few more drinks, before setting the bottle aside. The sake had lost its flavor.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep here, on her desk of all places. But he had, and she was the first thing he woke up to the next morning. And was acting rather tolerant of him this morning, it seemed.

All in all, it hadn't turned out to be that bad, he supposed. There were certainly worse ways to wake up.

* * *

><p><strong>The months fell into years…<strong>

Two years as his lieutenant, to be exact, she thought absently, feeling the damp grass under her sandals. Not much had changed between her and the Captain in those years, other than a sort of…acceptance she had attained in regards to him.

Today was no different than many others.

He had nagged her to the point of insanity that she accompany him after work. She usually refused to fraternize, but today was different.

Soul Society was setting off fireworks in honor of some war long past. A memorial service of sorts, from what she had gathered.

Captain Kyouraku had invited her to come see them. He had gone on and on about how splendid they were to watch. And, Nanao had never seen fireworks before. They sounded intriguing. She had reluctantly agreed to go, to which his shocked features quickly gave way to a huge boyish grin that made her want to reconsider.

Nanao sighed a little, looking out over the beautiful view. The white city below was a pretty sight from up here. Captain Kyouraku laid in the lawn behind her, but she ignored him. The sky was darkening, and her anticipation was growing with it. They had found a high point, and now they waited.

Her mind wondered over the last few years as his subordinate.

He was just as ridiculous as always these days, but she found it didn't get to her like it used to. She had acknowledged her fate here with him, and resigned herself to dealing with it. She kept her distance with everyone. She had things she needed to do, and she couldn't do it if there was any attachment formed.

And not him, or anyone, would get to her. Her resolve was unwavering on that.

If anything, as the last two years rolled by, her captain tried harder to get her attention, she noticed. He frequently showed up in the office with a favorite dish of hers for lunch. Although, she never told him what she loved as far as food went, he picked up on it along the way. Like he did with everything else.

His gifts took on a more personal note as well. A new hair clip one day, a new book another. Although, she never openly read outside of her home, Nanao was an avid reader. It was one of the small pleasures she had. She wondered how he knew such a thing. The books were always of great interest to her.

It didn't matter, she figured. She long ago stopped trying to dissuade the insistent man from such stupidity. It was a wasted effort to do so. He was as rooted as a tree in his firm belief that she would come around to him.

"Ne, Nanao-chan." His voice called, and she blinked, trying to ground herself back to the present again. Glancing over her shoulder, she met the eyes of the man calling to her.

"Yes?"

"Your so far away." He whined, patting the grass next to him. He had plopped himself down when they arrived and waited patiently for the fireworks to start. Sake bottle in hand, hat tossed carelessly from his head. She liked him better without it, she mused. It left his shrewd eyes unshadowed and easily detectable.

"I'm perfectly fine here, sir." Nanao turned back to the sky, she preferred to stand. She didn't want to miss the display.

"But what was the point in coming out here with your handsome captain, only to give him the cold shoulder?" He wheedled, and she heard him rising. In a swoosh of silks he was on his feet, and she listened as he approach.

He saw her stiffening to his advance, the nervous jerk of her eyes as he moved to her side, and he was man enough to admit it hurt his feelings a bit. Nanao always reacted this way to him when he got close to her. She always angled her body slightly to keep a clear stance if he was near, something he recognized as what all soldiers are trained to do when in the presence of an enemy. Slight bend of the knee, for quick movement. Shoulders squared and arms free, ready for defense. Light shifting of the feet, to either fight or flee, whichever was necessary.

It was textbook. It was hardly noticeable.

But, he noticed everything his Nanao-chan did.

And it didn't bother him when he saw her taking this stance around others. It was common for the Rukongai natives to do this for years after becoming a shinigami.

The problem was, she still did this to _him_. After two years of his attempts to make her at ease.

Why in god's name would she feel so wary around him still? It stung, twisted his gut painfully. Did she fear him? He had given her nothing to draw such a thing from. She spent more time with him than she did with anyone else, and she still treated him with such anxious reserve. She had no trust for him, even on this night.

He moved farther away from her side to alleviate her discomfort, trying to keep the upset from showing on his own face. He looked up at the now dark sky, breathing in a deep breath of nighttime.

He wondered if he should just leave her be, and quit pestering her all together. Nothing has changed between them over the last few years. She was still a stranger, and he was still borderline stalking her. It couldn't be healthy for his old heart.

So what was the point?

He could see with his peripheral vision she kept her eyes on his form now that he was close. She had been so quietly excited over tonight, to witness the fireworks. She had reminded him of a young girl the way she stood on the hill staring intensely just a moment ago.

And now?

He was next to her, so all her eagerness to see the show was gone. She was solely focused on him, cautious of his next move.

He had, from the start, only ever wanted to get to know the woman, but she always made sure no such thing happened.

Sure he wanted her in other ways, but a friendship was the starting point he was focused on.

He was becoming increasingly convinced that Nanao disliked him more and more everyday.

Mood killed, captain Kyouraku tucked his hands into his thick sleeves, contemplating.

He was considering telling her he wasn't feeling well. A lame excuse to leave, he knew. But he just wanted her to come out and enjoy the fireworks tonight, and she would not with him at her side. If he left her alone, she would enjoy them like he knew she wanted to.

It was too much sometimes, knowing his lieutenant held such aversion to him after all this time. He would leave her in peace tonight, he decided. At lease he would know she would smile when she saw the fireworks, even if he wasn't around to witness it.

He lifted his foot to walk away, a dismissal on his lips.

But he was stopped in his tracks, when his little lieutenant suddenly, and quite awkwardly, moved rather close to him.

He found himself blinking down at her dark crown in pure confusion as she pressed her shoulder against his arm, feet shuffling closer to his own.

"Nanao?" He managed, afraid to move a muscle. She felt light and warm against his side, and he swallowed thickly.

"Sir, please don't leave yet." She whispered, so quiet he almost didn't catch it.

The fireworks chose that moment to begin, shooting high above and bursting beautifully.

Nanao didn't move, didn't even look up at the sky as their surroundings lit up into an array of color. An awareness was crawling along her intuition, sending her instincts into warning mode. She knew who was coming, and she carefully schooled her features into a neutral mask of calm.

"Captain Kyouraku, Lieutenant Ise." A warm voice called by way of greeting. Shunsui swore Nanao's small shoulder trembled against him as he glanced over to see Captain Aizen approaching, ever friendly smile in place. Was she really so afraid of people that she would not want to be alone with him? Shunsui had assumed they were decent friends. Hadn't he heard the man had trained her?

"We don't see much of each other these days, it seems." The other captain said, glancing between the two of them.

"Captain Aizen." Nanao stepped away only a little to bow respectfully and return the greeting.

Shunsui noticed to his surprise her cold, stern persona was back. Gone was the seemingly frightened doe at his side.

"How are you both this evening?" He came to stand by them, turning to watch the display in the sky serenely.

"Quite fine. Would you care for a drink, my friend?" Shunsui took in the fact that Nanao still didn't spare the active fireworks a second glance, and still stood rather close to him. He was sure this was the only time she willingly was this near to his person. His male ego puffed with pride, that even though her fears may be a little outrageous, she still felt better with him there.

"No, no. I'm afraid I can't hold my drink very well at all." Aizen chuckled. "Oh, Ise-san, I was hoping to find you this week. I wanted to go over a new technique with you tomorrow if you would be available?"

"Your taking my Nanao-chan?" Kyouraku asked, in mock horror.

"Only a few hours at most, I assure you." He smiled, the gesture softening his features further. "I'm afraid there aren't many kido wielders who know my spells quite as well as Ise-san. We have worked together for many years, you see."

"I can find time in the morning, if that suits you, Captain Aizen." Nanao's voice cut in, sounding emotionless and dull to Shunsui's ears.

Nanao inwardly cringed. She knew what his 'sessions' involved, and it had nothing to do with kido. She resisted the urge to hide behind the pink-wearing fool at her side. She was surprised by the reaction, not realizing she saw his as a source of protection until that moment. What the hell was wrong with her? Of course, out of the two evils, Kyouraku was certainly her choice. He may be a lazy hentai, but it was far better than the terms she would use to describe Aizen.

When this was over, she was staying as far from men in general as humanly possible.

"Good, good! I will look forward to seeing you tomorrow then!" Aizen laid a hand on her shoulder and gave a small squeeze, before saying some parting words to them both, and making his way back down the hill.

Nanao resisted the urge to rub the feel of his hand off her skin.

Captain Kyouraku and his lieutenant stood for many silent moments after the other captain took his leave. Both waiting for the other to comment.

Neither ever did, and so the explosive display ended, and they were cast into the dark once more.

"Thank you." She said finally, and he glanced over at her in surprise. "For bringing me here to watch the fireworks, sir."

"Anything for my Nanao-chan…" He said quietly. He didn't point out that neither one of that had even bothered to watch the display. And somehow, he knew that wasn't what she thanked him for. For the life of him, he didn't understand her.

But, after that night, he never saw her take up her protective stance with him again.

* * *

><p><strong>And the years added up…<strong>

Nanao wasn't an idiot. She had been his lieutenant for ten years now.

She knew he hovered on her doorstep some nights. Probably debating if he should knock or move on. He always decided on moving on, thankfully.

She would wait with baited breath for him to knock, but he never did. She didn't comprehend this behavior. Why did he come to her rooms, just to leave, anyways? She should be a little creeped out by this, but she has long since understood the man had no personal boundaries. His reatsiu would be close to untraceable on these nights, but she had imprinted his particular blend to her senses. She would feel him in the storms of hell, she was sure.

Let alone outside her meager rooms.

That's why tonight hadn't been a surprise to her, not really. Something like this was likely bound to happen eventually. Especially considering her overactive imagination.

Today had gone as normal as any other at the beginning. She came home, ate a light dinner, read a book, bathed, and went to bed at an early hour.

As usual.

Normal.

Routine.

She had been exhausted this day, having overscheduled herself to work with several training groups after regular office hours. Her tired body slipped under the covers, and she was asleep before she could think a single thought.

Then, at some point her dreams took on dark undertones, filling with confinement and torture. Aizen was the star tonight, preying on her subconscious as easily as he does during the waking hours.

She remembered fighting for her life in this dream, and fighting for those she cared about. But, it didn't matter. It never does in such dreams of him.

The dream turned ugly then, regardless of her efforts. There was blood, so much blood, and it stained her palms and seeped into her skin. She felt the guilt of death, knew it was her hands that caused it.

She clearly remembered screaming, knowing it was all her fault.

Someone was calling to her, though, and this was a new development to her nightmares. Someone was insistent, pulling her from the fog of her tormented subconscious.

She woke to the smell of sunshine and sakura, and to rough, calloused hands gripping her trembling shoulders, to soft words and a gentleness she knew only her Captain possessed.

He pulled her to a sitting position, holding her firmly and waiting for her to snap out of her distress. She looked up at him and met his intense gaze in the darkness, her features showed her surprise to find him here with her.

But, she instantly calmed, strangely enough. His warmth swept over her, encircled her, and she felt safe. Her cheeks were wet, she realized, as it dawned on her that the dream hadn't been real. But _this_ was. This was real, and he was here.

She sank against his broad chest, and his arms fell around her in response.

"It's alright, Nanao-chan. I've got you." He murmured, nuzzling her hair. Nanao breathed in deeply, clutching at the lifeline he had given her.

She was a little embarrassed by her sudden neediness in regards to him. But she couldn't care right now. Not with her heart pounding erratically in her chest, her mind still caught up in her dreamscape.

He continued his placating nonsense, whispering to her in the dark. Her tears stopped almost immediately, it was far too hard to stay frightened with this man sheltering you.

He lifted her easily, and set her in his lap. Nanao wanted to protest, to shove him away and threaten him for all this intimacy.

But the words wouldn't form, and she was horrified to find she didn't mind so much. This was a soothing embrace, an act to help her settle down. There was no hidden meaning behind it. It was simple: she was upset and he offered his comfort.

She focused on the feel of his warm skin on her cheek, his fingers as they glided through her hair, his arm supporting her around her back.

Nanao felt the fight against him, against her dreams, against Aizen, and herself, all just dissipate and leaving her empty and drained.

She drifted back to sleep nestled in his embrace.

When he heard her even breaths, and felt her body go limp against him, he rested his cheek against the top of her head. He let his hands continue their gentle caresses over her, continuing to ease her even though she was asleep. He hoped some part of her still felt him there, holding on to her and knew that she was safe with him close.

He didn't want to let her go, she was a perfect fit in his arms. He had spent many afternoons wondering what Nanao-chan would feel like to hold. And now he had an answer. He knew that this was likely the only time he would ever get this close to her, and so he drank it all in. The smell of her hair, the softness of her cheek, the feel of her lips against his collarbone parted slightly in her sleep.

Oh, he knew he was spellbound by this woman for years. But this moment slapped that fact into him like nothing else ever could. It was the clarity of the moment, so stark and obvious, that made him understand just how much he had tied himself to his little lieutenant.

Lowering her back to her mattress, he reluctantly let go of her and tugged the covers up.

He traced her jaw with his fingertips, watching her features soften as she slipped farther into her slumber.

She had been so afraid. What a nightmare she must have had, he thought.

He really should go. She wouldn't be so forgiving if she found him hovering over her in her bed, watching her like this.

He stood up, and cast one last glance at her peaceful face. He smiled to himself. She had accepted his presence tonight. She had calmed down with him at her side. It was a milestone in their strange relationship.

* * *

><p>The next day, Nanao sat at her desk. Spine stiff, fingers fidgeting nervously as she felt her captain approach.<p>

She clearly remembered the events of the night before, of what she had allowed him to get away with. It was burned into her memory with such distinction, she was afraid of what it might mean.

She didn't want to face him after last night. She was beyond ashamed of herself, sickened by her lack of self control.

She had been so precise and careful over the years with this man, regardless of his constant attempts to befriend her. She had been so good at keeping such a distinct professional relationship, making sure to never let up in the slightest.

Why, then, after so many years of never allowing the line to blur, had she allowed last night to happen? She should have been angry with him for entering her home uninvited, she should have blasted him for holding her the way he did, she should have forced him to leave, to insist she was fine, to make excuses and throw a fit over his obvious disregard for her personal space.

She should have done many things.

But it was too late. She had done nothing of what she should. She had let her guard down.

After ten years, she realized Captain Kyouraku had finally gotten to her. The ramifications of that may very well echo terribly in the future.

She didn't have much time to dwell on that now, as the door to the office slid open and the man in question sauntered in.

"Your late." She said by way of greeting, more out of habit than rebuke. "There are three forms that need your signature, sir. They are on your desk."

"Good to see you as well, Nanao-chan!" He grinned back at her, unruffled by her frosty words and made his way over to his own desk. He didn't bother to sit, as he didn't plan to stay long. It was too nice outside to be trapped in the office. He bent over and quickly scribbled his initials. "Only three today?"

"As of right now." She said, turning back to her own work. She bit her lip nervously. She really needed to say _something_ about last night but wasn't sure where to start. Especially with him acting just like he always does, as if they had never shared a moment the night before. It was just like him, she supposed. Not wanting to draw attention to what made her uncomfortable. His efforts at that game were well known to her. He had a knack for it.

She needed to apologize for the way she acted, to set things straight with them again, to blame her clinginess on being half asleep. She felt foolish, but it needed to be said.

"Captain?" She blurted, "About…about last night, sir…"

"Nanao," He straightened and tossed the pen back to the desk, turning to give her his full attention. His hands were on his hips, and he looked rather serious, she thought. "I was afraid you would be upset by that today."

"You were?"

"Yes. And I want you to know I'm sorry." He looked a little ashamed himself, suddenly.

"Sorry? For what?" Nanao asked, surprised.

"For barging in your home, for one." He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, and glanced out the window. He knew he crossed a line and she would be offended, probably downright angry with him. He had been close to her rooms last night, on a nightly walk, when he had heard her scream and felt her reatsiu flare in alarm. There was nothing in Soul Society that could have stopped him from going in that house. He had been half ready to kill something, by the way she sounded. So terrified...

"Sir-"

"-Let me finish." He interrupted, moving his gaze back to her. She fell silent under the look he gave her. "I'm sorry your upset with me, but I'm not sorry I did it. I know it wasn't very proper to do, but I thought you were in trouble. And no amount of propriety would have been able to keep me from acting."

She sat, stunned at his wording. She had meant to apologize to him, not to hear something like this. It fluttered in her chest a bit, a light tingle of hope at his unvoiced promise. He cared about her, she knew. He was always very vocal about his intentions with her, and this moment just further proved it all.

_Maybe there are other options to look into…_The voice of her zanpakto rang through her mind.

If only she could tell him…No. He couldn't help her. No one could. She squashed the swirling thoughts as quick as they started, ruthlessly burying them before they took root. Blocking out the frustrated voice in her head, as well.

"A thank you is in order, then." She said quietly, sincerely. She may not be comfortable with what happened last night, but she was no fool. He was an honest man, and she would meet his honesty head on.

Nanao felt the shift in the room, as the tension seemed to vanish between them at her response.

"Your thanking me?" He laughed, walking over to her desk. She eyed him warily, recognizing the playful glint in his eyes. "I should thank you, my Nanao-chan, for the lovely gift of being able to hold your sweet body last night!"

Her face flamed bright red. Oh yes, they were back to more familiar footing once again.

"Don't make it sound so improper!" She hissed, glaring at him. "Nothing like _that_ happened!"

"Of course not! Where did you get the idea that it was improper? Are you thinking dirty thoughts, Nanao-chan?" His smile was dancing with amusement. He always knew how to fluster her.

"Your making me reconsider my gratitude…" She muttered.

"How about a kiss to truly show your gratitude!" He leaned over, making a ridiculous kissey-face.

Nanao did something she never thought she would do.

Grabbing the heavy book laying on her desk, she struck her superior officer.

* * *

><p><strong>Somethings Change with time, <strong>

**and some things don't. **

The years rolled on, to the point where Nanao seemed to loose count of exactly how many she had served in the 8th.

She wasn't sure, but she knew it really didn't matter.

The 8th felt like home now. It was where she belonged in her life here, no matter how false it may be. She was the worst kind of spy, she knew. She seemed to be bad at both jobs. She was asked from the beginning to gather information. That was all she was supposed to do here. But Aizen was getting rather frustrated with her, as she hadn't been able to get the information he requested. She simply didn't have clearance yet to enter such parts of the files. That would only come with time. She had a higher than most level of clearance in the records office, but she was a far cry away from what he needed of her.

She would simply need to wait until the clearance was entrusted to her. A part of her was happy, as that granted her more time to spend in her illusion of belonging.

Another part dreaded this, as it meant she would no doubt grow more attached. She hated to admit it, loathed to acknowledge it, but her Captain was becoming like her shadow. A part of her that was simply always there. A constant in her life that she couldn't shake, and wasn't sure at this point that she wanted to.

Somewhere, over the years, her indifference to him had turned to acceptance. She couldn't simply ignore him these days. He commanded her attention with an unsettling pull.

Which is why she felt rather like an idiot right now.

This really went above the call of duty, she knew.

She stood in the crowded bar, glancing around the guests with distain. She didn't like being in places like this, but here she was. Dragging her captain home so that he would make it to the early meeting tomorrow. He had left her side to fetch his stupid pink haori, and she didn't know what the hell was taking him so long.

Her gaze landed on Ichimaru, who was in one corner with a few other shinigami she didn't know the names of. He met her eyes in the briefest of acknowledgements, before turning back to his companions. They had an unusual understanding between them. They both wanted Aizen dead. But they were by no means allies. They wanted the man gone for very different reasons, and both would do anything to gain that. They worked toward the same goal, taking two very different paths. And she would never call him an ally, his means to an end were far more drastic to hers.

A few years ago, Nanao had began thinking of ways to get herself free of this mess. She was Aizen's, there was no mistake. And so long as he had what she held dear to her, she would always be his. The only thing she could think of was the man had to be killed. It was her ticket to freedom, and it was Soul Society's only unknowing chance of survival. And, it was the only way to get her family free, which was most important.

The man was powerful. It scared her, as she knew that his power was unique and unmatched. Even the strongest of the captains would be helpless against his illusions. They could never win.

No, he had to die. Ichimaru had known this from the beginning, but Nanao had only recently realized this fact.

It was the only way.

She was still trying to think of how such a thing could be done, however. She was no match for him. She would have to take him by such surprise to even land a hit. And she doubted it would be enough to kill him.

So, there were two things she waited for now.

One, was to gain the clearance for the records offices, to give the information to the man she hated. To keep him off her back, and to ensure her family's safety.

And two, was to study Aizen, to do her own separate research. And eventually formulate a way to kill that man. No one was invincible. She had a brilliant mind, and she planned to use it to the fullest on this dilemma.

A hand on her ass snapped her out of her dark musings like nothing else could.

"Hey darling', how you doing?" The words purred in her ear from behind, the smell of alcohol wafting off his breath. The hand gave a firm squeeze and she saw red.

Without thinking much, she had turned and lashed out with her kido, scorching the hand of the offender. He was no one she recognized, just some random shinigami, a rather large man who towered over her. She hadn't used enough kido to seriously injure him, just enough to wound his pride, she was sure.

He yelped in surprise and pain, clutching his hand to his chest. She saw with satisfaction that his skin blistered instantly, the appendage bright red from the burn.

"Perhaps that will teach you some manners." She said quietly, as the man's wide eyes snapped to her's with a renewed sense of anger.

"You bitch…perhaps I should teach _you_ some manners!" He hissed, and reached to his side with his good hand, where his zanpakto sat at his hip.

Nanao wanted to cringe, she didn't want to draw so much attention to herself in such a crowded place. But if he came at her she would put have to him down.

His hand froze on the hilt, and Nanao felt the air around her charge with the specific energy of her captain. He was unhappy, if his rising reatsiu was any indication.

The other man's eyes went to a point over her shoulder, and she felt Captain Kyouraku come to stand behind her. His energy licking fire across her nerve endings, her sense of instinct setting off warning bells to remove herself from such a force.

But in her mind, she knew it was not, and never would be, a threat to her. She stood her ground in front of him, withstanding the rising energy so close behind her. The fine hairs on her neck raised as he moved up to her.

"I know you were not about to raise your sword to an officer." His voice was smooth as silk, with a hint of dark undertones that Nanao had never heard from him before.

She watched, feeling a little detached, as the other man broke out into a sweat from the pressure around them. His eyes widened and shot to her arm, where he noticed her badge for the first time. If anything, he seemed pale and ready to faint.

The crowd around them had managed to move out of the way, their own sense of survival making them put distance between themselves and the source. Giving a wide circle around the three, some even leaving the building all together. The ones who stayed were probably too curious to miss this spectacle.

"N-no sir." The man stuttered, gasping for breath in the thick atmosphere.

"I would hate to think so."

The man bowed shakily, and offered a quick apology to Nanao.

She felt her captain's large hand engulf her's, tugging slightly to pull her along with him as he made his way to the exit. She followed behind, sticking close to him and avoiding looking around at all the spectators. She would no doubt be in the gossip mill by tomorrow. It was a hazard of having such a man as your captain, she supposed.

They left quickly and without another word between them.

* * *

><p>Once outside, Nanao noticed all of his anger seemed to vanish, his reatsiu under tight control once again. He tucked his hands into his sleeves absently, and started walking in the general direction of the 8th. His face showed no signs of upset, only his usual calm.<p>

"It's beautiful tonight." He commented, gazing up at the clear sky overhead.

"How do you do that?" She asked, accidentally voicing the question out loud.

"Do what, Nanao-chan?"

"Go from the intimidating captain I just saw in _there_," She gestured to the bar behind him. "back to this man out here."

"Years of practice. I'm an old man, you do know?" He winked. Although he did seem a little sheepish. "Were _you_ intimidated? I didn't mean for that."

"Of course not." She scoffed, and he looked relieved at her words. "Although I could have taken care of the situation."

"Absolutely." He agreed easily.

"Then why did you interfere?" She asked, confused. If he knew she could have handled it, then why did he act?

"Some things I can stay out of." He began, looking thoughtful." But some situations…I have no will to do so."

She fell silent, not really knowing what to say to his cryptic explanation.

* * *

><p>Time seemed meaningless some days, Nanao mused. Like now, it seemed there was no such measurements, only the present.<p>

"Do you know why I love being outdoors so much, Nanao-chan?" Her captain asked from his spot under the huge maple tree. She had found him here, bottle in hand and a slight slur to his speech.

"No, sir." She sighed, looking him over. "My guess would be the lack of paperwork?"

He had been gone most of the day, she wondered what he managed to do with his time when he spent it like this. Did he lay about and think? Did he enjoy the quiet moments? Did he just want to hide from her to drink?

"So mean." He chuckled, pulling himself up to a sitting position, leaning back against the tree and regarding her with his gentle eyes. "That was an honest question."

"And I answered it honestly enough." She countered, taking in their surroundings. It was a good distance away from the gates, a nice quiet hillside in the inner districts. There was a large expanse of field to admire, full of wildflowers and clover. The sun was warm on her skin, and she silently enjoyed the feel of it after a long day in the office.

"No, no. I like it, Nanao-chan, because it is very simple."

"Simple?"

"Yes, simple. Nature tells no lies. If a storm is blowing in, it will rain. If it rains, you'll get wet. Simple."

"I see." She murmured, glancing at the white fluffy clouds overhead. She wondered how long it would be before her own storm rolled in, soaking her to the core and ruining everything she was growing to enjoy in this life. She could almost hear the thunder in the distance if she listened close enough. "Good thing, then, that it is such a nice day."

"Indeed! One not to be wasted away indoors."

"I wouldn't go that far." She frowned, suddenly remembering his prolonged absence from work today.

"You take things too seriously. Sit and enjoy the afternoon with me." He offered, patting a spot next to him. She rolled her eyes.

"I have things to do."

"Oh? Like what?" He challenged and she looked away from him.

"Things." She said, lamely.

"Let me take a wild guess, Nanao-chan. You'll go home, stay there, and go to bed when its late enough. Correct?"

She flinched slightly. When he put it like that it really did sound pathetic.

"Ever observant, sir."

"Then stay a while, with me." He offered again, his tone changing slightly. She met his eyes again, and thought suddenly that he didn't look as drunk as she had assumed him to be.

"You know I will not do such a thing. Why do you always ask?" It wasn't a cruel statement, she was just asking outright.

"Why do you always refuse?" He countered, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"It's a waste of time."

"Spending time with me, or sitting in the grass?"

"Both." She said firmly.

He hummed in understanding, before glancing off into the distance.

She didn't even have time to blink, before she suddenly found herself blocking a short sword with her own. Her feet skidded back several feet from the force of sudden attack. The clang of steel echoing loudly, shocking her stupid as she stared into the grey eyes of her captain only inches from her face now.

"Good reflexes." He commented, and before she could get a word in, she had to go instantly into defense, blocking as he swiftly engaged her.

For a man so large, he was astoundingly swift on his feet, she thought as he danced around her with ease. He made several passes at her along the way, which she barely managed to block each time.

"What are you doing?" She demanded, as her carefully done hair fell from it's clip due to the speed and force she was putting into this.

She blocked a downswing, bicep trembling from the effort. A few sparks rained down as blade slid against blade. She shot a kido attack at his foot with her free hand, and he narrowly avoided it. The ground exploded in chunks of dirt and grass.

"Ah, I forget how efficient my Nanao-chan is in kido." He said, approval in his voice.

He was at her side suddenly, and she turned just in time to block yet another well aimed swing. Her blade was short, much shorter than his, she knew she wouldn't last long even in such simple maneuvers.

_I can't hold him off like this for long! _Her zanpakto sounded as frantic as she felt.

"Sir." She hissed, through clenched teeth, sweat forming as she tried to hold her ground against his stronger form. She thought, with sudden panic, that maybe he was on to her. Had he grown suspicious? She had been so careful over the years, but it was possible. No one she knew was as watchful as this man. "Why are you doing this?"

"I've never seen your zanpakto. I was aware you kept it tucked away in your sleeve, so it was obviously a smaller blade." He mused, ignoring her distressed question. His eyes took in her tanto, tracing it from the sharp edge, down to the delicate hilt. His eyes snapped up to her's then, a glint of mischief evident. "I want to see what it can do. Release it, Nanao-chan."

"No." She bit out, angry now. Was he toying with her?

He vanished from his spot when she made to swing at him, appearing several feet behind her. She turned on her heel quickly to face him, and eyed him warily, ready for his next move. She thought, with some surprise, that she had in fact never seen his zanpakto either. She knew he had the two of them, they were always at his hip. Yet, she only held one in his hand.

"Why not draw your second? You could win this before it started."

"Ah, this isn't about winning or loosing, Nanao-chan." He waved off, smiling back at her.

"Then what's it about?" She asked, watching him closely for a giveaway that he was about to move in again.

"This is more about knowledge."

"And what, exactly are you trying to learn?"

She saw his smile grow wider.

She gasped when he suddenly appeared inches from her, firmly catching her wrist in his large hand and moved it to the side, to remove her sword from the fight. His own blade inches from her neck.

"You don't really know someone until you fight them." He said, leaning against her enough to feel the soft contours of her small frame. "I heard that once, I wonder if its true?"

"I couldn't tell you. Sounds true enough." She pressed a hand to his flat abdomen, and his eyes widened in surprise. It only took a second for them to darken with his lust at the simple action.

He didn't get much time to contemplate a few scenarios from her touch, before his senses picked up the slightest twitch in her fingertips against his stomach.

He instantly flicked out of the way before a blue lighting attack exploded from her hand that had touched him only a moment before.

"Clever girl." He praised from several meters away. He took in the blackened earth and smoke rising from her high powered attack. Deducing she was more than efficient in her demon arts. That would have certainly left a mark.

"What is the meaning of this?" She asked again, facing him with her sword at the ready, and free hand glowing.

"You look beautiful." He said honestly, taking in her fierce eyes, her black hair shining in the sunlight and framing her face. She was all business right now, the shock having wore off, she was ready for a fight. Cheeks slightly flushed, reatsiu growing in her agitation. She was more powerful than he had assumed, if he was reading her right. He wondered how so many years had passed without ever having the pleasure to witness her like this. As the soldier she was.

He smirked. His Nanao was full of surprises.

"Is _that _all you have to say?" She asked in disbelief. "You come at me with your weapon and that's all you can say to explain yourself?"

"Release it." He requested again, ignoring her tirade once more. His curiosity was peaked now.

"No." He saw her elegantly shaped eyebrows furrow. He was inching closer. She backed away in response. "I don't want to do this, sir."

She didn't get a response to that, he was suddenly in front of her again, in midswing. She tensed and had only seconds to bring her own sword up to her defense. She only just blocked it, her shoulder joint twinging in pain from the impact.

She met his gaze over their locked blades. He seemed to be calculating her, his eyes narrowing.

Without breaking form or eye contact, he reached for the second of his zanpakto. Drawing it so quick Nanao had to use her highest ability of shunpo to miss being sliced from the swing of the long blade. She felt the power lash across the air where she just stood. Her captain just upped the bar, it seems.

She moved fast, touching down far from him and whirling around to face him again. Her small tanto raised and at the ready. She cast a high level strike in his direction, which he easily dodged.

But she had a second spell waiting, catching him off guard where he landed. Fire erupted all around him, and she caught the surprise on his face.

Then he was gone again.

_Damn! _She gasped. He was fast, so fast. The fire had hardly brushed his clothing before he dodged it as well.

He was suddenly behind her again, and she ducked as the long blade sailed over her head. Another quick maneuver had her dodging his short blade and bringing her to a crouch in front of him. She caught a whiff of burnt fibers and knew he had, at the very least, had his favorite pink haori caught in the cross fire. It brought a small triumphant smirk to her face as she kicked out a leg, attempting to catch his ankle and throw him off balance.

He jumped it easily, having predicted such a move. He raised his washabi, ready to bring it down on her with his landing.

Her hand flew up, blasting another blue lightening strike above her.

He was gone before it left her palm.

"My Nanao-chan is more talented than I gave her credit for." He praised again, from several meters to her left. She was on her feet in a heartbeat, facing him again.

With a casual roll of his shoulders, the burnt pink garment fell to the ground. She saw a small stream of smoke rising from it where it lay. She winced, wondering how angry that made him.

She looked back into his eyes, and saw that he was quite amused, actually.

"You always did have it out for that haori, didn't you?" He teased.

She said nothing, only took in the sight of him. Swords drawn, hat gone, and in the standard white captain uniform, he looked like a different man suddenly. He looked like the lethal captain that he was.

A part of her grew anxious suddenly, knowing she was no match for him.

Another part of her, the soldier buried underneath the polished layers, was thrilled for the challenge.

She didn't have time to dwell on it, though, as he came at her once again.

* * *

><p>Nanao was sure this went on for a few hours.<p>

She couldn't even guess at exactly how long they were engaged in the mock fight. But to her screaming, burning muscles, it certainly felt like hours.

Hell, the sun was even going down.

She stood panting, having just enough energy to hold her zanpakto shakily in position. Her arms trembled from exhaustion, but she would not back down from this. She didn't know what exactly his idea was here, but she hoped at some point he would either kill her or let her kill him.

She was certainly mad enough to do the job right now.

He stood in front of her, looking worse for wear himself. She had managed to burn through the white captain's coat, and into the black uniform below, exposing a good portion of his lower leg. He had some other small burns littering the rest of him, but was all together unharmed. He had some grass stains, clothes were rumples. But fine. To her dismay.

Her glasses having been lost long ago, her distance vision was shot. But up close she could see him with mild fuzziness. Meaning, she clearly saw his grin.

"Why in god's name are you smiling?" She asked, so fatigued she managed little more than a whisper.

"Why, Nanao-chan, we managed something wonderful just now!"

"Really?" She breathed. "And what would that be?"

"Well, I got you to spend a great deal of time with me, of course!" He said, a little too cheerfully for her likening.

"Are you saying…that this whole thing was a plot to spend time with me?" She was seething now.

"Well, obviously." He lowered the swords to his side, and resheathed both. She felt her blood pressure rising. "And it could hardly count as a waste of time to you, correct? A bit more like training. Sparring, I suppose. Very productive."

Nanao dropped her stance. Too tired to even reach up to sheath her own sword. She took a few deep breathes. This whole afternoon of beating the crap out of each other was a ploy to get her to spend time with him? Really? He was slick, she would give credit where credit was due for this little stunt. She had honestly thought he was aware of her traitorous position in the 13 Squads.

"I didn't even draw blood. Your skills outclass mine tremendously, sir." She admitted, sinking down to her knees. She sat back heavily, letting her body relax for the first time since all this began. Her limbs felt numb, overworked, and limp.

"Well, sure, Nanao. I'm much older than you are after all." He came to her side and sat down next to her. He wiped the sweat from his brow with a sleeve and smiled down at her. "I didn't draw blood either."

"That's because you were holding back." She snorted.

"So were you."

"You never even released your shiki."

"You never did either." He pointed out. "Although I am curious about it."

"You could just read my file." She said, sure that Aizen had fixed it so it read something entirely different from what she could actually do. He had given her explicit orders to never let her ability out. It was a secret she must guard with perfection. And she has been able to, up to this point. She almost released it several times over the past few hours, but held back due to Aizen's explicit threats. She would rather be cut down by captain Kyouraku's blade, than Aizen's.

"Hm." He agreed thoughtfully. "Where is the fun in that?"

"You could have smeared me easily. Even if I had released." She acknowledged. Several times, he pulled back a swing that would have landed. He never did outright hurt her, just muscled her around a bit. She would have some sore body parts tomorrow, but everything was intact.

"Why would I do that? It would defeat the whole purpose." He laughed, and flopped back into the grass to stretch out. She eyed him, wanting nothing more to stretch out in the grass as well, but refrained.

"What purpose?" She asked, wiping her zanpakto off with the hem of her shirt and tucking it back into her holster on her arm. Her hands shook with the simple effort.

"To make you better, Nanao-chan. So that you can be the type of fighter you can be proud of." She froze in her movements. "What kind of captain would that make me if I didn't push you to do your best? If your weak in combat, it is my duty to increase your skills. Just as your duty is to train the troops. Although, I'd hardly call you weak. Your kido could scorch the blue out of the skies."

He chuckled and threw an arm over his eyes. He was quite tired himself.

"You want to train me?" She clarified, blushing at his compliment.

"If you would like, I'd be honored." He answered seriously.

She thought this over. He was renown for being one of the best swordsmen in all of Soul Society. She could learn so much from this man, if she took him up on the offer. And her own sword skills were rather weak compared to others of her rank.

But, there were two downfalls. One, she would have to spend more afternoons like this with him. And two, he would eventually insist on her releasing. Which she was under order not to do.

Nanao bit her lip. "I don't know, sir."

"Think about it, at least." He said quietly, hoping she would, if only so he could get to know her better. She was still such a mystery to him even after all these years.

He rolled to his feet, and reached out a hand to help her up. She stared at it blankly a moment, before raising her own hand and placing it in his. He pulled her up easily, but didn't release her hand.

"Come on, sweetheart. I'll walk you home like a gentleman." He said, winking.

"A gentleman who just kicked me around this field all afternoon…" She muttered sourly and he laughed at that.

Regardless of her words, the fact that she never pulled her hand out of his for the whole walk back to her home was not lost on him. Whether she was too tired to notice or simply accepting him in her own way, he had no idea. But he was happy. Because he was chipping away at her more and more all the time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>

This was originally an older post of mine, which I removed to reconstruct. So, if anyone recognizes it, that's why. I've put a lot of work into revamping this, so hopefully it ends up looking better than last time you read it ^_^


	3. Chapter 2

**Black and White **

**By: Light of the Firefly**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

><p><em>Who can say if I've been changed for the better?<em>

_But, because I knew you...I have been changed for good._

_-Wicked-_

* * *

><p><strong>Three Days Prior to Present Time<strong>

* * *

><p>Nanao stood from the chair and shut down the system. It was dark and quiet in here, she mused. How long had she been sitting in that hard old chair, anyhow?<p>

She silently headed for the exit. The Library had emptied out a long time ago, but she had her own key for the building. It was nothing new for Ise Nanao to be alone in here this late. Even if she was spotted by anyone, it would be pretty routine.

She was nothing if not predictable to the members of the 13 Squads. No one would even blink at her leaving the library after hours. In fact, most shinigami that knew her expected it.

Making her way through the dim halls of stacked books, she absently flexed her stiff hands, and wiggled her fingers. Having spent hours at the keyboard, they felt pretty tired. She cracked her neck, relieving some of the tension in her joints.

She hated computer work, especially when it took that long to complete.

Hacking Soul Society's main network was a piece of cake, but it took quite a while to do properly. And to Nanao, anything she had to do was going to be done right.

A week or so ago, she was given the task of making sure everything was ready to go for the big bang in a few days. Little details, mostly. Like erasing history files and random information Aizen felt should be done away with. Changing a few things, tweaking details. After everything went down, there would be extensive research done on the man, no doubt. And he wanted to be prepared for such a thing. Soul Society's top computer savvy members would be on the search through the computer systems in a few days.

But thanks to her efforts of the past 4 hours, they would find nothing of use in the records kept by the 2nd and 12th Divisions. Or anywhere else in the computers, for that matter. Even the most restricted and hidden files had been altered by her with ease.

She had fixed things to make it seem like a puzzle to figure out. It would lead them on a wild goose chase, most likely. A lot of time and effort would go into the false information she planted all through the network, allowing focus to be pulled away from the research that could actually be helpful. And when they started looking through the files, they would be stumped. It would become obvious after a while that the information had been tampered with. But, no one would ever point such a thing in her direction, even after the truth about her came out. Few people knew about her computer genius, and they were all on the wrong side of the law, unfortunately.

Locking up the main doors to the library, she took in a deep breath of the night air and automatically sought out the feel of her captain. She would have to drag him home again tonight, most likely. Thanks to the ryoka threat, the 8th was called to arms. And they were expected to personally intervene early the next morning. Quite early, in fact.

She turned the corner and automatically felt for her captain by habit. He was in the nightlife district, full of bars and trouble, where his unmistakable reatsiu pulled her attention. She frowned slightly, knowing he would be damn hard to get motivated in the morning.

She briefly considered going to collect him. But wasn't so sure she should. She knew he would be having a good time, most likely as the life of the party. And, didn't he deserve that, considering what the next few days would bring?

Nanao's could just picture him. Maybe singing some lewd song, totally off key of course, but having a blast doing it.

She started aimlessly walking the darkened streets. She was heading in the general direction of her home, just taking the longer route.

She wanted some time to clear her thoughts a bit. The crisp air kept her a little chilled as she walked, weaving down different streets and alleys.

Nanao decided against retrieving her captain, even though there was early morning orders they had to carry out. She didn't want to deal with a damn near comatose man in the morning, but, she also wanted him to enjoy himself. To smile and carelessly have fun while it still lasted. Moments like that were important to him, she knew. Friends and laughter were his favorite pastime. She could tell Captain Ukitake and Rangiku were with him, and so she let him be.

After all, in only a few days, the sky was going to be falling.

Nanao didn't have the heart to interrupt everyone's good time tonight. Not when she knew what was to come. In the dark days to come, she wanted them all to have some good memories to look back on.

Nanao took another deep breath as her dread settled in. Only a few days left…and she would be leaving.

She was almost to the gates of the 8th now.

"Lieutenant Ise." The voice made her want to shrink inside of herself. To climb so far down that no sounds could reach. It reminded her of everything she hated and everything she loved and lost.

"Captain Aizen." She responded calmly, turning to greet the imposter as he strolled up to her. Her voice gave away nothing of her disgust. "Good evening."

"To you as well." His dark eyes seemed amused, for all his plans were so close at hand. He was as flawless and clean as always, in his perfect impression of a good citizen of the white city. He looked so benign, so positively warm and harmless.

It made her sick.

"How are you doing?" He asked casually, coming to a stop in front of her. His eyes scanned the surroundings, taking in the few shinigami moving about at this hour.

Nanao wished she had gone to the bar now...

"I was just heading home." He had been reasonably tolerable over the past few months, and she assumed the good mood he was in was due to the approaching due date.

Regardless, his motives were always hard to read, and she was wary of his nearness, as usual. Especially when he snuck up on her and caught her off guard.

"Ah, yes, you must rest. We have busy days ahead of us." He said, the undertones of his excitement apparent. To a passersby, it was a simple and true statement that no one would ever guess the nature of.

"Yes, sir." She agreed.

"I don't have to remind you of the importance of the next few days, do I?" He turned to her suddenly, his dark eyes turning menacing in their intensity. His voice was little more than a soft whisper, and Nanao knew she would be foolish to cringe under his watchfulness.

"No, sir."

A few moments passed, and the couple of people out and about seemed to be moving on.

The streets seemed to empty of witnesses now, she noticed. He was free to speak what was on his mind, and Nanao's anxiety hiked up a notch.

"And tomorrow, I will be dead." He sighed dramatically. She nodded, she knew the scheme, why was he pestering her suddenly? "You will carry on as you were instructed, correct?"

"I will."

"Did you take care of the files?"

"Yes."

"Good. I do have a few changes to make to the original plan."

"Sir?"

"You will be responsible for a few stabilizing spells on the barrier dome, to allow the transport to take place smoothly. To ensure our ticket out of here."

"I can do that without issue, sir."

"Of course you can." He stated, reaching out to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. She forced herself to stand very still while he did this, meanwhile her whole body twitched to flee. He was pleased with her, with everything she had done up until this point. All her efforts and information she leaked were invaluable to him. He sometimes looked on her with parental fondness, having faith in her ability to complete such things for him.

It made her stomach knot when that look crossed his features. She much preferred the uncaring, empty looks he gave off. Winning his favor was just disturbing.

"There is something else I've thought of that you would be quite useful for. You see, your idiot captain is one of the oldest, and one of the most powerful." He looked thoughtfully up at the dark sky. "He could be one of few that could be…problematic."

"I'm sure no one could pose a problem for you, Captain Aizen."

"Flatterer." He grinned, and she held back her wince. "But you see, Captain Kyoraku, Captain Ukitake, and Captain Unohana are not ones to be trifled with. I simply know too little about them, next to nothing really, and that is the dilemma I have. I hate to admit my ignorance on the three of them, but it simply is what it is."

"I understand." After all these years together, she honestly knew very little about her captain's abilities as well. She knew the basics, but it was rare that he even released his zanpakuto. She had only seen them released a couple of times. And it wasn't even in battle situations, it was sparring with Captain Ukitake. There have been very few threats over the years that he had been ordered to personally see to, and every one of those threats had been taken care of without the need for his shikai. Which was unnerving, considering he took care of such big issues without needing the release.

Nanao knew he was a powerhouse, but the details eluded her. The same went for the other two captains in question. She had heard only rumors, but no facts. There was next to nothing in the records of the three of them to even read about. She had done extensive looking on that subject, actually. Not for Aizen, but for her own curiosity.

But still, found nothing on their abilities. It was Soul Society's best kept secret, it seemed. So it was really no shock to hear Aizen voice such concerns. She had personally dug through every bit of Soul Society's records, and came up empty handed.

"He trusts you. You have earned that from him over these difficult years." Aizen stated with a shrug.

"What are you asking, exactly?"

"I have a special job for you." He leaned toward her, his smile predatory in the dim lighting. "I would like to knock out as many obstacles as possible, you see. And so, I've been thinking of ways to do this before we leave."

"Yes?" She managed, dread building within her. A part of her knew what was coming, what the snake was about to say. Her zanpakutō's voice rang through her mind, seething vile curses.

"I would like you to try to remove him as a threat. Either of them, really. Which one you choose wouldn't matter. I'm assuming you would have the most luck removing your captain. Anyone of them would do, however."

"It will not work." She said a little too quickly, and his eyebrow raised in challenge.

"Oh?"

"I'm not strong enough to kill him." She stated. It was true enough for him to see her honesty. "_Any_ of the them. I'm sure your aware of that."

"Ah, yes, but he would be completely caught off guard, Lieutenant. He would never see it coming. It is terribly possible in such a scenario. No one would suspect such a thing from you. Besides, you have a neat little trick up your sleeve, don't you?" His voice was the kind of cold that made your teeth set on edge, as he brushed his fingers over her concealed zanpakuto. She resisted the urge to jerk her arm from his touch.

"You never said I would have to hurt anyone." She said after a moment, stepping back from him. The predator in him instantly focused on her nervousness, a smirk forming. "You asked me to gain people's trust, to get information. Not to hurt them."

"No, but things have changed. I foresee problems." He answered. "Those three captains are the wild cards. I know what the old man can do. The other three? Well, your aware there simply is no solid facts on them. If we can take any of them out beforehand, it would be favorable."

"I am not a murderer." She said, even as his gaze turned deadly at her words. He stepped back into her personal space again, and she stood very still under his scrutiny.

"You will be whatever I tell you to be." He said, his voice soft but sharp as glass. "Or do I need to remind you what the consequences are of disobeying me?"

Nanao felt her spine straighten in a rare wave of bravery against this man.

"From the beginning, I was your mole. I was the one gathering your delicate information. That was my assignment, and I've done it to perfection. You have everything you ever needed from me. I accomplished the impossible for you. I gave you the most sensitive materials in the records on a silver platter. I climbed the latter, I gained access to the undercover files, and I delivered. This was all I was ever to do for you. And it's done now. I want you to uphold your promise, as well, and let them go."

His hand was around her neck in an iron grip so fast she didn't even see him move.

"Such a mouthy woman you have become. What happened to the sweet girl I knew so long ago?' He purred, his voice just as soft as always, but his hand was squeezing tighter.

Her air was cut off completely, and she grabbed at his hand with her smaller ones, pulling and prying.

"Let them go, you ask?" He jerked her face closer to his, making them eye level. "Listen to me now, my little girl. If you want the happy ending you have worked so hard for, then I suggest you do as your told. I suggest you take note of you new assignment, because if it is not carried out, I'll bathe in the blood of those you want released. Do I make myself clear to you?"

She glared back, even though her body was in panic over the air loss, she put every ounce of her hatred into her eyes and met his. His grip tightened in response and he nuzzled her cheek lightly.

"I love the smell of a woman's anger." He murmured as she struggled. "I _want_ you angry. It is such a passionate emotion. Anger will drive you further. You will be able to accomplish your goals with such passion burning in your veins. Don't you remember, Nanao? These people are nothing. They are _sheep, _and we are above them_. I am their god, _and I am _your_ god. Besides, you not even real. You never were. You don't exist, you have been playing them from the beginning. They are _nothing_ to you. You didn't loose track of your motives, did you?"

Her vision was tunneling, her ears ringing now.

She managed to shake her head 'no' weakly.

"The only thing that matters to you, is your family. That's what you told me so long ago. Is that not true anymore?" He whispered, his lips brushing her ear. Her conscience was slipping, she knew she was close to passing out. "Have I lost your loyalty, little one? To that insufferable captain of yours? We can't have that, now, can we? So look at it this way, you will be ridding yourself of a weakness by destroying him."

Nanao struggled harder, her lungs screaming for air now.

"If you don't do what I ask, I will never let them go. I will keep them until the ends of time. They will suffer unimaginable tortures. They will beg for death before I've ever really got started. Oh, but you already know all that, I will not bore you with such details."

Tears sprang to her eyes, knowing the truth in his words and hating herself for being too powerless to do something.

"I'm not an idiot, Nanao. I know how attached you have become to this place, to these people. I watch my subordinates very closely, always. After all the years you spent here, who could blame you for having some feelings for the place? But, remember this, even if you turned on me, I will expose you, and then all of Soul Society will turn on _you_. And your family will be mine anyways. Everything you have done would be in vain. Why would you risk such a thing?"

He pulled back, meeting her eyes again, her vision so distorted she could hardly focus on him.

"Do your job, and everything will work out like you want. Don't disappoint me, or I promise you, you will be the one disappointed."

Her world fell into blackness.

* * *

><p>"Lieutenant Ise, 'mam!" A voice called, she felt a hand on her shoulder. It shook her lightly.<p>

Nanao moaned, fighting to wake up. She felt groggy and disoriented. The pavement was cold and hard against her back where she laid.

"Go get the captain, Cao!"

"Yes, sir!" Another voice said, and Nanao heard the second man run off down the sidewalk.

"No." She protested, opening her eyes. She met the worried gaze the 12th seat of her squad. His name escaped her, as she couldn't seem to form a decent thought right now. But, having Captain Kyoraku show up would make things exceptionally worse right now, she understood _that _perfectly. "I'm alright, you don't need to get him."

She blinked to clear her hazy vision, the face hovering over her coming into better focus. Still couldn't place the name though.

"With all due respect, Lieutenant, I don't want to be responsible for _not_ getting him." The man said quickly, looking sheepish, expecting her temper. The troops of the 8th Squad were well aware of their captain's overbearing personality when it came to the lieutenant.

She tried to sit up, but the man encouraged her to stay put by holding her shoulder firmly.

"I said I'm fine." She enforced, glowering at the man above her. He pulled his hand off her shoulder quickly at her look. "Stop him. I don't need the Captain called."

After a moment's hesitation, he looked up and called the other man back. Then turned his doubtful gaze back to her.

"Do you need to go to the 4th?"

"No." She insisted. The other man came to side quickly too, wearing an identical concerned look as the first. Cao, his name was Cao, she remembered. Her thoughts were clearing now. The 12th seat's name was Moiki.

"You were out cold when we found you, lieutenant." Cao offered as he returned to where they were, and Nanao sent him a glare. "I really think the captain should-"

"-There is no need, I feel fine now." Nanao snapped, trying to pull herself up.

"Easy there." Moiki said, helping her to sit with a hand on her back. "Do you need anything? I really think a trip to the 4th-"

"-No." She said, voice hoarse but clear. He nodded, ending his argument.

"What happened, Lieutenant?" He asked, helping her rise to her feet. Cao was hovering, waiting to help.

"I…" The memory flooded back, and Nanao fell into an easy lie. "I don't remember. I was just walking home."

"Were you attacked?" His hands hovered, expecting her to fall or need him at any moment. The other man standing close similarly. She snorted at them both.

"Of course not." She said, taking a few steps back to regain her composure and dignity. She straightened out her uniform stiffly, blushing. This was rather embarrassing being found in such a state by her subordinates. "I must have been fatigued. Thank you for your assistance. I'm sure you were alarmed."

"Of course, lieutenant." Moiki flushed and bowed.

"Glad your alright." The other bowed quickly as well.

"You go on, I need to go home and rest." She assured them, meeting their identical skepticism.

"Yes, 'mam!" They said, regardless of their opinions, and left her side.

Nanao watched them leave and let out a sigh of relief. She hoped they would keep their mouths shut about this. The last thing that she needed was her captain hearing about this.

She started for her home again, her thoughts troubled and still a little unclear.

* * *

><p>As she climbed in her bed that night, she couldn't help but feeling exhaustion. She certainly needed some rest after her little talk with Aizen earlier in the evening.<p>

She snuggled down into her covers and stared up at her ceiling, wide awake now. Sleep would not come easy tonight.

She thought over Aizen's words. Absently, she touched her sore neck.

Oh how she hated him.

He had asked her to kill captain Kyoraku...

Ha. She would sooner cut off her own hand than raise it against him. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she couldn't hurt that man. She couldn't hurt anyone in Soul Society, but him especially.

Her loyalty to Aizen was rooted in loathing and built on fear. It was flawed, and bound to come back to bite him in the end.

Her loyalty to her captain was much different. It was rooted in their odd friendship, and built on respect and admiration. He was the closest thing she had to family here, and against her best intentions, was a part of her life she couldn't shake. Although he constantly pushed, she never allowed their relationship to be anything other than platonic. It would ruin her too completely if she allowed that. She knew how he felt about her, and she was sure he knew her feelings as well, even though she never spoke any such words.

Tonight, she needed time to think.

Aizen expected her to initiate some attack on one of the three captains. She had to think of something that would keep him pleased, but not actually be a threat to them. She couldn't disobey an order from him, she was too close to her goals. She would think of something to please him, to buy herself more time. She was determined to rid the world of Aizen one way or another.

Nanao sighed. She would think of something. She _had_ to think of something. She couldn't hurt any of the three captains in question. They were too kind, too good, to even consider harming. She didn't have it in her. They were all mentors to her in their own rite, her respect for each one very different and unique.

She was a terrible traitor, she knew. Hell, she didn't seem to be very good in either role she lived.

She tossed around under her blankets. She wasn't really a shinigami though. The thought was so uncomfortable to recognize that she avoided it at all costs. But it was there, and it was true. And there was no taking it back. She was an enemy.

Nanao had known from the start that there would be a goodbye, and in the beginning it was a non-issue.

Now? It was a monumental issue that she would have never foreseen back then.

Especially with her captain being in her life.

He had grown on her so much over the years, she wasn't sure she remembered what her life was like before he was a part of it. He had managed to get under her skin over the years, branding himself on her.

Sometimes she wished she was someone else, wished she was the woman he thought she was.

'_You must tell him. He can help. He will _want_ to help.' _Her zanpakto's voice chimed, and Nanao felt the burn of tears wanting to escape. '_He will understand.'_

This was a frequent argument between herself and her sword spirit.

"I can't." She whispered into the darkness of her bedroom. No, she couldn't tell him. She couldn't drag him into such a thing. This was her mess, her responsibility, and her family at stake. Aizen would be taken down, but not yet. She had to play his game, just a little while longer. She had been planning for years for this, co conspiring with Gin and forming a shaky little treaty. He had shared with her his discovery of beating Aizen's illusions, to touch his blade to see the truths.

Besides, Nanao had her own tricks. She knew he was apprehensive of her abilities, he had been wary of them from the beginning. It was one of the reasons he maintained that she was not to use them, she had deduced. He didn't want her building what she already had to anything more. Her ability was special in this circumstance.

But, she just didn't know if it would be enough to take him down. No one really understood just how powerful the man was, and she was light-years away from being on equal grounds with him in a fight. She would have to catch him off guard, and _maybe_ then she would have a chance. She had to take that chance. It was the only way to end his reign. He had to die. And she was one of the few people that had the know-how to do it. She had to try.

Her thoughts drifted back to her captain.

Many times over the years, she had been close to spilling her guts to him. Many days she had considered it, when he had proved to her in some way or another, that he would have her back always.

But on this, she wasn't so sure he would. And she could never ask such a thing of him. To put himself, his title and duty, on the line. She was a traitor. She could never forget that. Even though it was so easy sometimes, to think she simply belonged here, with no ulterior agenda. She was the spy, the enemy. She had been from the start. Even though her intentions were ultimately good, she had gone about it in such a wrong way. She had helped the man who would bring Soul Society to it's knees.

Captain Kyoraku was going to find that out, very soon in fact, and she didn't know what to feel about that.

The thought sobered her when she got carried away. When she began her silly daydreaming, all she had to do was remember who and what she really was.

She was a person he would be against. She was everything he disliked. She lied to him and everyone, stole things from Soul Society she was entrusted with, and plotted against the people who cared for her.

She was a bad person for fooling such a good man.

Her heart tightened and throbbed mournfully at the thought of him looking at her and knowing the truth. That so much of their time together had been built on lies.

She closed her eyes in resignation. In the end, it would be better that he simply hated her for her faults. And she had no doubts he was going to despise her when it all came to light.

She didn't want him becoming involved, she didn't want him to risk anything to help her. She wanted his anger, his feelings of betrayal, so that he would leave it be.

Aizen was dangerous, and she wanted him as far away from her Captain as possible. This was a path she must walk alone.

* * *

><p>The next day started off just as early as she predicted. Nanao had briefly popped into the 8th to give new wartime orders and arrange a few things.<p>

Now, she stood waiting. On the lookout tower, where most of the 8th' Division's courtyard was visible. Her captain dozing behind her, but Nanao knew he would be ready to fight in less than a second should the ryoka arrive. The rest of the 8th carried on as usual, seemingly unconcerned with the approaching threat. Of course, they all knew if their captain was called to arms, there was nothing for them to be concerned over.

The third seat was at the gates, as the first line of defense. She figured the moron would stall the intruder for only a few moments, as he wasn't good at much else.

She felt the approach then, and felt the brief fight between the ryoka and the 3rd seat and rolled her eyes. Why hadn't they replaced that useless man yet anyhow?

Her eyes caught sight of the rather large framed boy coming toward them.

"I suppose that's my que…" Her captain sighed, sounding put upon. She held back a smirk.

"Indeed, sir."

"Stay here." He rose to his feet and stretched leisurely.

"As always." She muttered sourly, glancing at the ridiculous basket of petals he had brought along.

"Can't have Nanao-chan getting her hands dirty, now can I?" He chuckled, patting her on the head as he walked past her to make a grand entrance.

* * *

><p>Nanao bit her lip as she watched the scene below play out.<p>

Another powerful blast from the boy's strange arm weapon rocked the tower where she stood. He was powerful, for a human so young. Not very fast, but his weapon did pack a punch. The holes in the 8th Division's walls were proof enough of that. She automatically calculated the repair costs in her head with a sigh.

Yes, this ryoka was fairly powerful. Nothing to be concerned with, however. Her captain was so much stronger than the kid that it was laughable.

But, Nanao knew the ryoka were part of Aizen's plans. If they were killed, would it cause Aizen problems? She didn't know all the particular details, but she knew he was counting on their intrusion causing a distraction for him.

She wondered if this boy's death would be worth hoping for.

The quicker the ryoka were finished off, the quicker people could catch on the what was really going on. Maybe. Besides, anything that unconvinced Aizen was worth it to her.

She knew her captain was too soft hearted to kill someone outright for no other reason than duty. The kid seemed honorable, after all, not evil or even a threat. They weren't fighting over any personal vendetta against one another. Shunsui was just in the kid's way. He had tried to dissuade the youth from the fight at first, but he would not be swayed. The kid was on a mission, and no amount of talking would change that.

No, Nanao knew he wouldn't kill him. He would stop him, prevent any further issues, but not kill him.

She frowned, considering. If it came down to it, could _she_ do it? His death may be a small price to pay in the larger scheme of things going on right now. And, any little bit could help. These people had no idea what Aizen was capable of. He was mad, completely insane, and would tear this whole world apart soon.

Nanao debated. She was no killer. She knew this, she had just argued this last night.

But, was one death worth it to potentially save many? Was this one sin alright, to potentially prevent so many deaths in the near future? She wasn't sure.

A messenger arrived suddenly, breaking her from her dark musings.

"Lieutenant Ise, urgent message, mam!"

"Speak." She commanded, already knowing what he had to say.

* * *

><p>Nanao approached her captain as he sheathed his twin zanpakuto. The boy lay in a heap at his feet. He kept his tired gaze on the unmoving form, no doubt feeling the guilt of his duties.<p>

"Sir." She greeted, coming to his side. She pointedly ignored the smear of blood by her sandal.

"Nanao-chan." He responded solemnly. She knew how he hated this kind of thing. He was no doubt wishing for a stiff drink right now.

"There has been an accident." She said, adding the right amount of worry to her voice to catch his attention. His eyes snapped over to hers. "Captain Aizen was found dead, sir."

She watched as true surprise played across his face, then regret, and she wanted to laugh. The man was hardly worth being upset over finding dead. She would cheer the day it finally happened.

But, his illusions run deep in the white city. And her captain felt respectfully bound to mourn a fellow captain of the Soul Society.

"It seems it has caused an upset in the squads, as well. Several Divisions have taken up against one another." She added, knowing this was all part of the plans. Aizen was pitted everyone against each other to keep focus off what was really going on. And so far, it sounded like it was working as he wanted it to. Friends were fighting, squads were squabbling, accusations were being thrown around. The distraction was taking effect.

"Are you alright?" Her captain asked suddenly, and it was her turn for surprise. "He was your sensei, wasn't he?"

"Many years ago." She said, trying not to sound bitter by the statement.

"Any word on suspects?"

"None."

"Well," He sighed heavily, glancing back to the boy who was still motionless on the ground. "I suppose we need to get moving then. I have a feeling things are going to get ugly."

He turned, and began walking away.

Nanao lingered and she raised her hand, calling her kido. She could end the young man's life now, so easily. She could do it, she told herself, if it would help. She would do it for the better good. He was a pawn of Aizen's, and if he were dead it may change things a bit. She was already prepared to do necessary evils to stop the man. And this was one of them.

Just as she was steeling herself to make the move, a large hand fell over hers, smothering her kido.

"That's no job for a lady, Nanao-chan." She jerked her head to the side and met his somber eyes.

"But, he…he is still alive, sir." She stammered, embarrassed. She hadn't anticipated being stopped. She should have thought up a half decent reason for her actions. She pulled her hand away from his, always uncomfortable with his touches.

"We will turn him in, so they can question him." She saw the question in his eyes, wondering what had gotten into her. The Nanao he knew was not so ruthless.

"But, wouldn't the ryoka be responsible for the death of captain Aizen?" She argued weakly, knowing this was a lost battle.

"I wouldn't be so sure." He said. Shrewd man, she grumbled silently. "We need to go find out what we can."

Nanao nodded at his statement. She took a moment to look over the boy's face. He was a person, not a quicker means to an end. What had she been thinking a moment ago? What was she becoming in her desperation? Her gut jerked at what she had been about to do. Honestly, one death would probably never slow Aizen down.

"Send word to the 2nd Division, Nanao-chan. Then meet me at the 13th, we have things to discuss."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

><p>When Nanao arrived at the 13th, she was mildly surprised to find her captain, Captain Ukitake, and his two third seats sitting around a low table and looking grave. All present had cups of sake in hand, and seemed tense. There was a dark air in the room that set her teeth on edge.<p>

"Is everything alright?" She asked hesitantly, as no one seemed to be talking. Or looking up to meet her curious gaze, for that matter. This bunch was usually much more lively. She wondered if someone else had been discovered dead. For real, this time.

"Ise-san, have a seat with us." Captain Ukitake suggested. She felt unease crawling up her spine at his rigid posture.

She automatically sat herself to her captain's right, and sent him a questioning look. He smiled sadly back, and took a drink from his cup.

"Kuchiki Rukia has been sentenced to death." Ukitake said without preamble, and Nanao gasped. That was truly a surprise to her.

"But…why?" She didn't know Rukia personally, but she had heard she was being detained for some questioning. She was sure nothing she could have done would require such drastic measures to be ruled, though.

"The details aren't particularly important, Nanao-chan. It is an unfair judgment." Her captain spoke up, turning to meet her eyes. "How long have we worked together now?"

"I…what?" She stammered at the sudden subject change. She blinked at him, confused. "A little over one hundred years, sir. Why?"

He nodded thoughtfully, and glanced at Ukitake. The two third seats were being unusually quiet across the table, staring down into their drinks. Nanao was still a bit perplexed as to everyone's strange mood.

"Nanao." He said, and she didn't like it when he dropped honorifics. It usually meant something. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course." She said without hesitating.

"Can I trust you?" He asked, his grey eyes boring into her with unmatched intensity.

_I wish you could. _

_I wish I were real._

_I wish things had started off so differently._

_I wish, _

_I wish, _

_I wish…_

"What's this about, sir?" She sidestepped, ignoring the sudden lump in her throat at his innocent question.

"This execution doesn't sit right with me. I'm going to help Ukitake stop it." He clarified, and she saw the resolve in his gaze.

Nanao was stunned. Not that him having a problem with the death sentence was a surprise, more that he was going to go against the grain. He was one of the Head Captain's most trusted, one of his favorites. And he was going to fight this order? Stand against the Old Man?

It was admirable. Stupid, maybe, but certainly admirable in her eyes.

"I see." She said, and looked over to Captain Ukitake, who dipped his chin to her. He was on board with this as well. "Why are we discussing this, then?"

"I'm telling you this, so that you know what's going to be going on tomorrow. I wanted you to know. You deserve to know what kind of mess your captain is getting himself into." He smiled at her fondly.

"Alright." She said calmly, taking it all in and mulling it over.

"I'm not asking for you help, Nanao-chan. I'm not asking you to get involved at all. In fact, I'd rather you stayed out of the whole ordeal." Her captain said, and Nanao's eyes snapped back to his.

He didn't want her help?

"We don't want you in trouble for our actions." Jushiro offered, when he saw her flash of anger.

She heard the truth of his words, and wanted to laugh. If only they knew how much trouble she was about to be in…

And here they were, trusting her with their own plans against Soul Society.

Irony was brutal sometimes.

"Yes, I understand." She said slowly, reaching out and pouring herself a cup of sake. Captain Kyoraku's eyebrow rose when she did.

She glared at him, daring him to say something. It wasn't often Nanao drank the stuff, but when she did he knew she needed it. He wisely stayed quiet.

"At any rate, tomarrow we will be at Sokyoku Hill, causing a ruckus." Ukitake laughed humorlessly. She saw the third seats nodding in agreement, their devotion to the 13th Captain obvious. The two goofballs had apparently decided to be a part of this it seemed.

Nanao took a drink and held back her grimace. The stuff was awful, she never understood how her captain could drink this throat-burning poison all day.

"Your going to be breaking quite a few laws." She commented with a shrug, mostly to herself.

"Indeed, Ise-san. Indeed." Jushiro agreed, draining his own cup and sitting back heavily. He looked troubled, she thought. His eyes weren't as bright as usual, and a frown played on his lips.

She wondered what Aizen would want her to do in this situation, and was surprised to find she didn't care. She already knew her answer, she knew what she would do. There was hardly need for her to consider it.

She followed Captain Kyoraku in her role as a shinigami. If he was going to do something stupid for the greater good, how could she not go along with it?

At least his traitorous tendencies were well meaning. He was a man worth following.

"There's nothing for it, I suppose." Nanao murmured to herself, bringing several sets of eyes to her. "Count me in."

* * *

><p>That night the heavens let loose.<p>

A storm blanketed the sky, and was dumping heaps of rain on the white city.

And, tomarrow she would be leaving. This night was finally here, one that she had wished for at the beginning, anticipated over the years, and dreaded at the end.

Her last night as a lieutenant of the 13 Squads.

Lightning lit the world in a blue flash, and Nanao laughed bitterly. Yes, her storm had come. Everything she had done here was about to end. The good and bad.

She stood on the roof of the 8th, taking it all in for the last time. This was a view she was familiar with, as many times she found herself on this roof over the span of her stay here. Most commonly, accompanying her captain.

The rain picked up, and came down even harder. Her clothes were long ago soaked through, her hair plastered to her neck. Her tears were masked by the raindrops rolling down her face.

She wondered if anything really mattered right now in the larger scheme of things. Aizen would crush Soul Society, she had no doubts about that. He had the brains, and skill, to do so. He had legions of hallows at his command, and a few captains at his side. He had years of planning, years of gathering information and waiting. He had ambition and drive to win. And, he had the advantage of surprise on his side as well.

Nanao felt grief so strong it constricted her throat. Soul Society would fall. And she had helped to bring it down. It hurt, more so than she could have ever anticipated it would. She hated this place once. It felt like a prison term to her when the whole thing began.

But now..?

She had come to love this place, and her place in it. At some point, she had quit striving to be a better shinigami for Aizen, and started striving to be a better shinigami for herself. She was proud of her accomplishments, of her skill, of her rank. And she loathed the man more than ever right now, for the simple fact that none of it was ever real. It was all a game, one that she excelled at. Regardless of how much she had grown to enjoy her false life here, it was coming to an end tomarrow.

She had also grown to love some of the people here, her small circle of friends she had never wanted, but was thankful to have. It was a very tiny group of individuals, but they were golden to her.

Out of the people she would miss, one stood apart. Always.

Captain Kyoraku. Even thinking of him caused her chest to constrict painfully with grief.

She would miss him the most, she knew. He had been such a large part of her life over the course of the years, it was hard to understand that there was a goodbye for them.

Before she knew what she was doing, she was flashing to the 8th dorms. Rainstorm be damned, she knew her way blindly.

Her feet seemed to take her to his home without her consent. It wasn't that late, she knew he would likely still be awake. He never slept well the day before a fight anyways. She had already left a note at the office, but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough, for either one of them. She owed him a decent goodbye, considering everything he had done for her over the years. She owed him so much, really. He had drawn her out of herself like no one ever could.

She _needed_ him. Needed to see him, needed to say goodbye quietly. As selfish as it was, she just had to be near him, hear his voice, feel him in a room. She was about to blow up everything they had in a matter of hours, and she wanted to spend as much time as possible at his side until that moment came.

Selfish? Yes. Without a doubt.

Able to change her course? No. Not a chance.

Her feet landed lightly on the sidewalk leading to his door.

* * *

><p>"Nanao-chan?" He only looked mildly surprised, she noted. He was dressed in the standard black uniform, the rest of his ensemble missing. He looked almost ordinary like this.<p>

"Captain." She greeted, with as much dignity as she could standing on his porch soaking wet. She removed her useless, rain streaked glasses and gave him a half hearted smile. She hoped it didn't look as bleak as it felt. "Am I interrupting, sir?"

"Never, lovely." He assured, and she knew he was holding back his questions. He wordlessly stepped aside and motioned for her to come in.

She lowered her eyes and walked in, feeling awkward suddenly.

He slid the door closed as she stood over the rug, not wanting to drip water everywhere. She let out a breath and wondered how she must look to him right now.

"Head on to the bathroom, Nanao-chan. I'll get you something to change into."

"I'll get things wet…" She protested.

She heard him snort from the other room. "It would be an improvement on my housekeeping skills, ne?"

"True enough." She sighed, glancing around his always messy home. She couldn't argue the logic. But, she was a neat freak to the core. Cringing, she stepped onto the carpet and walked quickly back to the bathroom.

Her captain met her at the door, and handed her a few towels and one of his old blue yukatas.

"Wrong size, but dry." He laughed as she took the things from him.

"Thank you, sir." Nanao couldn't hide the slight shiver than ran down her frame from the cold. Something dry would be heaven.

He left her for privacy and Nanao hurriedly stripped off her wet uniform. She hadn't noticed just how miserably uncomfortable the rain had been up until now. She dried herself quickly, and pulled on the yukata. It was huge, dwarfing her small frame.

Mechanically, she dried her glasses on the cloth and placed them back on her nose, glad to have her eyes back. She rolled up the sleeves, carefully ignoring the voice in her head telling her she shouldn't have come here. Especially tonight. He was going to know what she was tomarrow, and he would look back on this and think she was just twisting the knife cruelly by showing up for a visit.

She had made a mistake coming here. She should have just left the note, and let that be all.

But, she just _couldn't…_

Catching her reflection in the mirror over his sink, she stared accusingly at her own face. Her skin was more pale than usual, and was a stark contrast to her hair. It was still quite damp, and laid loose, giving her a black and white depiction of herself. Her eyes looked so lost to her own gaze. She looked like a haunted girl, ready for the worst to happen. She felt the weight of her decisions laying heavily on her shoulders when she looked at her own face right now.

Forcibly, she turned away from her reflection, and left the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Shunsui had spent the last hour cooking a late meal for them.<p>

Nanao would gladly admit that the smells were wonderful, and was curious as to what he was throwing together.

When she had come out of the bathroom to find him already started on cooking, he had adamantly refused to let her assist in any way. So, she had tossed her clothes in his dryer and entertained herself by nosing through his bookshelves, plucking random tomes from their spots and flipping through them. He had a huge selection of rare and old books, but Nanao couldn't make herself interested in reading right now if her life depended on it. Every time she started, her mind would wonder. And she would forget what she had even just read.

Sighing, she put the one in her hand back.

"Nanao-chan~!" He sing-songed from the other room. "I'm ready to serve you!"

"Don't say it like that." She chastised, walking back to the kitchen. She was surprised to find the table set, and several dishes laid out. He winked at her and sat himself down at one end. "You didn't have to do all this." She said, embarrassed. She really had put him out by showing up.

"I was hungry, too, you know." He shrugged as he filled his cup with sake. "Not _everything _is about you."

She blushed, knowing his bluff, and sat herself at the other end of the low table.

They filled their plates, and began eating with silence filling the room. It was easy, sometimes, to not need many words when you know someone so well.

She took a few bites, and was impressed with the food, it all tasted wonderful.

"It's very good, sir." She praised, taking another bite of the dumplings. He had cooked for her in the past, but it was infrequent. He was very talented at it, just didn't particularly do it often.

"My aim is to please you, Nanao-chan!" He grinned back, she noticed the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" She said, quietly, looking down at her plate. She pushed at the food with her chopsticks nervously.

"Ask what?"

"Why I was on your doorstep in a rainstorm so late." She muttered. He knew damn well what she was talking about, she knew.

"I hardly have any right." He waved off, taking another bite of his food. She glanced up, startled.

"It's your house, doesn't that give you the right?"

"Not when I've showed up on your doorstep so many times." He winked. "And in much worse shape some nights than just being wet from rain."

She couldn't argue that one. God knows he has showed up at her place in some of his worst conditions.

"As long as _you_ know why you're here, it doesn't really matter what I think." He said gently, leaning back to regard her.

She met his steady gaze. Did she really know why she was here? Nanao thought it over. She had wanted to spend time with him, she knew. She wanted to feel his comforting presence before tomarrow came.

But, _why_?

The answer was quite simple: He was _home_ to her. And she was already homesick from the thought of leaving tomarrow.

A lump rose in her throat, and she looked back down to her food to hide the obvious from him.

Shunsui frowned when she looked away, concerned by the strange stare she had been giving him. It reminded him of years past, when she always seemed so consumed by sorrow. It was a heartbreakingly sad look, and he wanted to know the cause of such a thing. She seemed almost vulnerable to him, with those cheerless dark eyes and seeming so small in his clothing.

He watched her poke aimlessly at her food now, her appetite gone.

After several moments, she rose and began clearing the table.

He sighed, knowing even after all these years, his Nanao-chan was a tough one to understand. And when she couldn't voice her worries, she clammed up.

"You don't have to do that, sweetheart." He said, filling his cup again. It took a lot of effort for him to hold back his concerns.

"You cooked, the least I can do is clean up." Nanao pointed out, absently, as she gathered up the dishes.

He watched her move about, tracing over her elegant shape. It wasn't common he got to see her legs bare, although the yukata hung down to her knees, it was still few and far between he saw so much of her pale skin. He loved the sight of her in his clothing, she looked comfortable and relaxed in the baggy outfit. It was quite different from her professional attire.

She was filling the sink now, to wash the dishes, and rolled the sleeves higher still, exposing her arms to the curve of her elbow. She seemed unaware of his eyes raking over her, as she went about her task.

She reached into the water, and started cleaning the plates. He took a drink, his thoughts turning to simmering desire, as they always do with her near. The top part of the yukata was loose as well, showing off her collar bones and expanse of her beautiful neck-

He almost choked on his sake. He sputtered into the cup, coughing.

_Were those bruises?_

Before he could form a thought, he was on his feet and in her face. Startled, she gasped when he grabbed her chin and tipped it to the side. Suds dripped from her raised hands to the floor between them, unnoticed. The shattering of pottery echoed around the kitchen as she dropped a plate in her shock.

"S-sir?" She managed, as his other hand touched lightly against her neck.

"What happened?" He demanded, ignoring her surprised voice at his abrupt invasion of her personal space.

"Perhaps, if I knew what you were talking about, I could answer that?" She offered sourly, shooting him a look that clearly showed her displeasure. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

He released her chin and stared hard at her. Nanao took a deep breath and stared hard back. He was too much sometimes.

"Your neck is bruised." He said, but it sounded more like a question. Or threat.

_Oh, damn. _She thought, anxious. She had completely forgotten. No wonder he was up in arms. She had been careful all day to hide it from him. Chin down, angeling her body just so. But she had forgotten, and he had seen.

"I hardly remember where every bruise comes from, sir." She said, rolling her eyes for good effect. She turned back to the sink to escape his knowing gaze. He wasn't buying her fib, if his darkening features were any indication. So, she cowardly hid her face from him.

"I would imagine an injury to your neck would stick out in your memory, Nanao-chan." He commented sarcastically, trying to turn her back to face him. She elbowed him away stubbornly.

"Stop that." She said, frowning. "I'm fine. I honestly don't remember, so it is obviously not a big deal. Quit giving me that look."

"What look? You aren't even looking at me to see what look I'm giving."

"I don't have to see your face." She snapped, irritated. He snorted at that.

A stretch of silence fell over them, as Nanao continued to ignore his glowering presence right next to her. He was intimidating when he wanted to be, she thought. Jerk. Couldn't he just drop it? It was unnerving having his eyes bore holes into her.

"Quit hovering." She muttered, when he continued past her patience limit.

But, he wouldn't budge, and Nanao knew how his mind worked. He was thinking the worst case scenario.

She glared over her shoulder, having to crane her neck to do so. He met it effortlessly, his own gaze penetrating and demanding an answer. Her glare had lost its effect on this man years ago.

A silent war of wills went on for a few moments, before she huffed and turned back to the dishes. She buised herself picking up the pieces from the broken plate. She muttered to herself about his dramatics as she piled the pieces on the counter.

"You honestly don't know what happened?" He went on, sounding skeptical but resigned to her silence on the matter.

"No." She sighed picking up another plate to finish the washing.

"Funny. Because it almost looks like fingerprint shaped marks…"

She almost dropped the plate in her wet hands over that statement, which would have been two broken in less than five minutes.

"I'm sure," She began casually, regaining her composure, "that if someone put their hand around my neck, I would fry them for such a thing."

_Unless, that person were Aizen, and could bat your kido away like a fly. _Her zanpakuto murmured sourly.

But, it seemed to work on her Captain, she saw him nod in agreement from the corner of her eye.

"Alright, I'm going to take your word on it, Nanao." He told her, and walked out of the room. "I'll be back in a few…"

He left the kitchen, and she heard his footsteps moving down the hallway.

She let out a deep sigh when he was out of earshot. She knew he wasn't convinced, but at least he was keeping it to himself. And besides, she had put it to him with unarguable logic.

* * *

><p>Shunsui went to his room and changed for bed. It was getting quite late, after all.<p>

And, he needed some space away from Nanao. Before he said something he would regret later. He felt like throwing a tantrum. Or hit something. That would help right now, too.

There was no mistake, the marks were perfect for a hand around her throat.

Worse, she was playing dumb with him, and that made him furious.

He knew her far too well to not know her quirks. She was lying. She had been attacked. Someone had done this to her and left bruises behind to prove it.

Something white hot and enraged coursed through his veins at the thought. Oh, how he hoped that person would try it with him around. Just once, so that he could get his hands on that person, whoever it was. They obviously weren't stupid, to have done such a thing without him around.

But, really, who could have done that to Nanao? She could handle herself, he knew. She would never let herself be manhandled by anyone. Besides, he couldn't think of a single person who would want to hurt Nanao. And certainly, anyone who knew her, knew _him _as well. They wouldn't dare.

He sat down on the edge of his bed, and thought over everyone she associated with. He still came up empty. It just didn't make sense to him.

But he knew for sure, his Nanao was keeping secrets from him. He had known for sometime now, but he could never catch on the what exactly she was bottling up. He had been aware for a while that she was having a hard time. She usually would be in a strange mood, anxious or seemingly upset. And when he asked, she would deny there was any problem. He knew she was having some sort of trouble. Her actions and lack of explanations lead him to this conclusion.

But now, his worries were confirmed. He rubbed a hand over his face tiredly.

This was another story. It was no strange mood or odd behavior on her part. Tonight made him coil tight as a spring in his anger. Tonight, she had been hurt. There was the unmistakable shape of fingertips on her neck, and so there was no denying the sight.

He stood up, and turned down the bed covers. He fluffed up the pillows a bit, for good measure. Satisfied, he went to get Nanao.

He was keeping her here tonight, regardless if she wanted to or not. He wasn't taking the chance that something could happen to her if he wasn't around.

He went into the living room, which was dimmed down to a few lamps on. Nanao was standing at the window, watching the rain silently.

"The bed is all ready for you." He said, and she jerked her eyes to his. He saw her spine stiffen in predictable distain.

"I'm not staying all night." She protested instantly.

"Of course you are." He insisted, unruffled.

"I am perfectly fine, sir. I don't need you to baby-sit."

"Who said anything about that?" He asked. "It still raining, and that's a long enough walk to your home."

"I'm going home." She stated dryly, unfazed by his piss poor logic. She knew what he was doing, and she wasn't having it. "Soon as my clothes are done in the dryer."

He sighed heavily. "Alright. We will stay at your house, then."

"What! No!"

He grinned. Nothing was better than flustering this woman.

"I'm going to be wherever you decide to stay, Nanao-chan." He said, a note of finality in his tone. She glowered back.

"I'm going to my home, and your not." She said, severely. "Your staying here."

"I'll just follow you." He shrugged, unconcerned.

"Your not staying at my house."

"Then you'll have to physically remove me." He replied, cocking an eyebrow in invitation.

"If I have to wrestle you out the door, I certainly will." She threatened, crossing her arms over her chest. "Your not staying there."

"I'd love nothing more than Nanao-chan wrestling with me..." He commented, smirking.

"Sir!" She snapped, exasperation peaking. He chuckled when her cheeks pinked prettily. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I'm leaving, and your not."

His gaze took in his little lieutenant, standing stiffly at the other end of the room with her adorable blush. Dressed in his large clothing, hair still damp. He smiled at the sight, she looked very soft like this. Like just another woman, not one who commanded a legion of troops. Minus the deadly glare in her violet eyes pointed at him, of course.

"As I said, I'll be wherever you are." He said, and moved to sit on the couch.

She groaned in frustration. He wouldn't be swayed on this, and she was starting to realize that.

"I told you, that isn't necessary." She assured him, shifting her glasses again. It was an agitated habit. "I'm fine."

"I hope so." His tone was a little raw to her ears, and she looked away. Staring back out to the rain, she didn't want to meet his eyes right now. Her nerves were far too stirred up to face him and pretend.

Some time passed in stubborn silence before Shunsui broke it.

"Come sit with me, Nanao." She glanced over her shoulder to him, wondering what he was up to. But, he just nodded to a spot next to him.

"Fine." She huffed, and moved closer. She sat down tiredly, making sure it was at the farthest spot from where he sat. He pouted at the distance, but didn't argue. "But I am leaving."

"Psh. We can worry about that when the time comes." He said easily, and she could hear the undertones of his voice. It was quietly telling her she was going no where.

She leaned back and held back a content smile. He had to have the most comfortable couch in the whole city. It practically sucked you into it, trapping you and forcing you to never move again. She had accidentally fallen asleep on it many times.

"Your trying to trick me into it, aren't you?" She yawned.

"Ah, you know me well." He chuckled quietly and grabbed the throw blanket off the back. He leaned over and tossed the cover over her lap and she shot him a dirty look. He knew she couldn't resist the allure of this couch, and add in a cozy blanket, and she'd be good as gone. He grinned, "Is it working yet?"

"Your couch is working it's charm, yes." She agreed, fighting the relaxation settling over her. "I'll never understand what's with this old thing anyhow."

"It's been around a while." He said, glancing over at her as he leaned back to his spot. She let out a soft sigh, and he saw the drowsiness on her features. He wondered if she knew how she devastated him with her simple gestures. "Maybe it's just been so loved for so long, it shares it with everyone else."

"Is that your excuse too, then?" She sniffed.

"Yare, yare. Are you calling me old now?"

She laughed quietly, despite the mood she was in.

"That's more like it, sweetheart. I hardly ever hear you laugh, you know. It's a beautiful sound."

She artfully ignored the whole statement. She hated when he said things like that. She turned her gaze back to the window, and worried over things that were beyond her reach.

Silence settled over them again, and he watched her profile closely. The only sound was the patter of the rain on the roof, making the room feel homely, but it was all off.

_She_ was off.

She stared off into space, lost to her thoughts. He watched her brow knit, and she bit down on her bottom lip. She was troubled, and it bothered him deeply. Her showing up here, the bruises, the whole sense of her being off-kilter. It rubbed him wrong, and he didn't want her brooding, he wanted her to relax. She obviously needed to, as wound up as she seemed tonight. He was here with her now, there was no reason to worry over whatever was on her mind.

So he laid back and stretched his legs across the couch, pressing his feet against her hip and wiggling his toes against her.

"What are you doing?" Her head snapped to the side to glare. Gone was the worry, in it's place was only irritation. His methods were a bit unorthodox, but effective. She had lost the sad look, replacing it with a more recognizable angry one.

"Nanao is warm, and my feet are cold." He reasoned, fighting back his smile at her incredulous look.

"You're a child." She sighed, shoving his feet off her. "If you wore some socks you wouldn't be complaining."

"But, Nanao-chan took the only available blanket."

"You _gave_ it to me, I didn't take it." She muttered, rolling her eyes.

The dryer let out a ding from the other room, signaling her departure.

"I need to be going, sir." She stood up, and stretched a bit. She was surprised her captain didn't argue with her over it. Casting a glance in his direction, she saw his sharp eyes on her, lit with amusement. Pulling out a flask, he proceeded to unscrew the cap. She raised a brow when he took a decent sized pull from it. He grinned back at her disapproving look.

"Your planning to get drunk this late?" She moved in front of him and snatched the flask from his hands. She recapped it and set it on the table. "You shouldn't be with everything going on tomarrow, sir."

"Cruel Nanao-chan, it's never too late to drink!" He protested, but she just crossed her arms at his statement. "Besides, I'm just having one."

"What's the point of just one drink?"

"Your about to box my ears off, so I'd like a taste of it before that happens." She caught the unusual look glinting in his eyes, and wasn't sure she liked it.

"What are you talk-"

She gasped when his hands gripped her hips, and pulled her against him. Her breath caught a moment before she was off balance. Her shock lasted long enough for him to pull her across his lap, one arm securing around her waist to prevent her escape. She couldn't even manage a squeak of protest before he shifted them around so they were laying together on the couch.

"What are you doing!" She snapped, jerking her upper body off his chest and trying to shove away from him. "Could you _be _any more inappropriate!"

"Of course." He replied, his arm tightened fractionally. Like a band of iron around her middle. She was going nowhere so long as he kept such a grip on her. "But I doubt you would appreciate it under the circumstances."

"I don't appreciate _this_!" She seethed, wiggling away as much as she could with his steel grip. Her cheeks burned with the feel of her body pressed against his. "Let go of me."

"Sorry Nanao." He didn't sound sorry at all, she thought, as he leaned back and closed his eyes. His hand rubbed a slow circle where it rested on her side, fingers brushing her ribs. "Isn't this nice? Besides, you looked like you needed a hug."

"This is not a 'hug'!" She snapped, her blush growing hotter by the second. Every time she wiggled, the friction of the action would make her more uncomfortable.

"It's close enough to count as one."

She stopped struggling, and considered blasting him. It would have to be a high level one, with the smothering mood he was in right now. He wasn't going to let her go easy. It would most likely damage something in his home.

"That's better." He said cheerfully, with Nanao not fighting him anymore and tucked against his side. She shot him an irritated look. "Just relax, lovely."

"Relax? You think I can like this?"

"Sure." He pulled the blanket back over them with his free hand, the other holding her captive still.

"Why are you being so insufferable tonight?" She asked rhetorically, dropping her head to his chest in defeat. If she was honest with herself, this felt wonderful. With his arm wrapped around her, and pressed against each other this way, surrounded by his unique scent. It wasn't bad at all, really. He really was quite comfortable to lay with, she thought, although this wasn't what she wanted to begin with.

"I'm just providing what we both need." He chuckled, and she felt the vibration from where she laid. His arm loosened its hold, when he realized she wasn't going to bolt.

"I don't remember asking for _this, _sir. This is beyond what a captain and lieutenant should be doing." She muttered into his chest, refusing to give into the urge to let her hand wonder across it. No matter how tempting. Besides, her cheeks couldn't possibly get any hotter.

"Hm. Well pretend we are just us, then."

Another stretch of quiet settled, but this one more comfortable, he thought. She seemed drained now, he doubted she would be able to stay awake much longer.

"Sir?" She said, quietly, shifting a bit. His warm body under her was making it impossible not to melt.

"Yes?" He managed, around the heat rising in his blood. She felt soft and inviting pressed to him, and he swallowed thickly. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea, after all. Wouldn't be his first.

"Thank you."

"For what?" He was truly confused, he couldn't think of a single thing she should be thanking him for right now.

"For everything." She said. It was the quiet goodbye she had in mind. She needed to thank him. "I wanted to say that before everything going on tomarrow."

"Ah, you give me too much credit." He smiled and reaching for her hand. Surprisingly, she allowed him to take hold of it. He pressed her hand over his heart and held it there. "I should be thanking _you _for everything. Not just the office stuff, although that is certainly commendable. But, I don't think you could ever understand how much brighter my days have been with you around, Nanao-chan."

She winced slightly at his words.

"Mine too." She whispered, and his thumb rubbed against her wrist in response. She wondered if he could feel her pulse quicken at the simple action.

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, and smiled when he felt the tension leave her body.

"Go to sleep, Nanao." He encouraged. "Tomarrow will be fine, you don't need to worry. Just rest."

She had no problem with that order, between the couch working its magnetism, and snuggled against him, her eyes drifted closed easily.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Thank you for the reviews ^_^ They are so appreciated. A few comments to them:

Akai-miko: I know which one, love. Don't worry, its getting done. I'm not all the way happy with it just yet, still needs fine-tuned. Hopefully it wouln't dissappoint. I'm a pervert my nature, so it's getting pretty lewd. lmao. I donno about posting it on , maybe have to start a media miner account, huh?

JenovaJuice97: Enjoy, It's pretty long :D

Flowergod613: I know, I haven't given up on that. I've just hit a wall of writer's block with that one. Don't worry, it'll get updated. I just can't say how soon. I promise to deliver though.

SiriusHarryPotter: Your just an awsome reviewer. Thank you. ^_^

Juliedoo: Thank you much.


	4. Chapter 3

**Black and White **

**By: Light of the Firefly**

**Chapter 3**

* * *

><p>"<em>Though those that are betray'd do feel the treason sharply…<em>

_Yet the traitor stands in worse case of woe."_

_-William Shakespeare-_

* * *

><p>Nanao woke the next morning in unfamiliar surroundings.<p>

Alarmed, her hazy mind snapped awake instantly as she jerked to a sitting position, reaching into her too-big sleeve for her blade. Her hand stilled as realization dawned, and she let the tightness in her body go. She knew this room, of course. It had just scared her for a brief moment between dreams and wakefulness.

Blinking to clear her vision, she took in the room she was in. This was her captain's bedroom. It smelled like him, and all around just _felt_ like him, so she was surprised she didn't realize it quicker. But, she's been rather jumpy lately, with everything going on.

Nanao let out a deep sigh, wondering what time it may be. She needed to get moving, there was much to do.

Today was the day. The pinnacle of Aizen's plans.

She climbed out from under the thick covers, and located her things. Her glasses were laid on the nightstand, next to her folded uniform she had thrown in the dryer. Nanao frowned as she set the glasses on her nose. She remembered falling asleep on the couch with him, but here she was, waking up alone in his room. He must have moved her after she was out. She wondered if she slept on him all night, or if he moved her here after she had drifted off. Blushing either way, she decided it didn't matter. Both scenarios were inappropriate, so she refused to dwell on either one.

Her eye was drawn to the small, framed photo on his nightstand. It was an older shot of her and her captain, one that she had seen many times before. It was taken 20 some odd years ago, at a festival, Tanabata she remembered distantly. He had naturally wheedled her into going to it with him. Promises of more work and less sake had softened her to the idea, until she finally had given in and gone with him. With strict restrictions, of course. She refused to allow him to believe it to have been a 'date'. Naturally, it didn't stop him from thinking of the night that way.

Nanao picked the frame up, and studied it. They were both dressed in fancy kimonos, and her captain had slung an arm around her shoulders. Nanao looked slightly annoyed in the picture, but was betrayed by the small smile on her face. It was a pretty typical look of all pictures taken of them over the years. Him; grinning and being clingy, and her; trying to look put-upon.

But, she actually remembered enjoying that night. The games and food had all been different and new. The decorations had been beautiful and fun. And her Captain had been so adamant on showing her everything the festival had had to offer, dragging her from one booth to the next. They shared dishes of carnival foods, and got competitive at the game booths. They were stopped every few steps by passing shinigami for a chat. The whole night had been busy, and lively, and crowded, and so _not_ what she usually enjoyed.

Yet, somehow, she had enjoyed it. A lot, in truth.

He had walked her home when it had ended, and that walk stuck in her memory more than the actual festival. It had been so late in the night. The moon had been covered by clouds, so it was darker than usual, and chilly. They didn't talk at all on the way, just quietly made their way to her rooms. And at the door, she remembered being struck by the look in her captain's eyes when he bid her goodbye. It had been such an open, heartbreakingly gentle look that had made her pulse quicken and her breathing catch. He hadn't tried any of his usual antics, like trying to kiss her or pull her into a smothering hug. Instead, he had simply tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear, his warm fingertips leaving a tingle in her skin, and told her goodnight in a quiet tone. Their eyes had met in the darkness, and so many things seemed to not matter in that connected moment. In the shadowed night, and standing so close, she could smell his unique scent and feel the powerful hum of his life force, but was so utterly frozen, just rooted to her spot. And she had ran through so many possibilities in the few seconds they had stood like that, thinking over everything she could start and everything she wouldn't dare attempt, and she had drowned in so many silent promises and things unsaid. She had wanted so badly to reach out to him, to lay her hands on his chest and feel his solid strength seep into her and push her onward, she had wanted to close the distance between them, to press her lips to his to see if he really did taste just the way she imagined, and she fought brutally for control over her own limbs. Time had seemed to slow to a crawl around them, the whole atmosphere seemed charged with the wait to see which path would be taken.

But, in the end, she had done nothing, could not find the courage or the ability to move even a fraction. And, in his eyes, she could see his understanding, could feel his own warring emotions and acceptance as he took a step back and smiled sadly, always tolerant of her ways, of her constant distance.

She had stood there and watched him walk away until he was out of sight before even entering her home, feeling so confused and aching, all the unspoken words choking her and making her wish for things never to happen. She had walked numbly to her room, changed in a haze of habit, and crawled into her bed feeling cold and more alone than she had in a long time.

For her, that was the single moment she realized just how deeply she had grown to care for the man. It had been an epiphany of regret, a conclusion to her ruin, and the very start of something so horribly right and twisted, and just as wrong, and it would never straighten out again. It had been the first of 'what if' and 'if only' and 'I wish' and 'maybe' and the sense of falling so deep she may never reach the light again.

It was when she realized with perfect clarity she was in love with him.

That night had broken something in her, as every repressed feeling strained its way to the forefront of her mind and took control of her thoughts and forced her to acknowledge things she had adamantly refused to look into for so long. She felt the iron bars of obligation and fate close in on her in those hours until dawn, felt the clawing, fighting battle of her heart versus destiny, of things she wanted so badly it hurt versus things she had no choice in. Her affection for her Captain, and her submission to Aizen.

Nanao set the picture back down with trembling fingers, and wondered what his own memories of that night were. She slammed the door shut on her turmoil, locking things away that she never meant to let out in the first place and glanced to the window, surprised to find it was still dark out. Which was unusual for her captain to be up and about at such an hour, but stranger things have happened. He had things to do today, after all, with the execution on the horizon.

She made the bed neatly, tucking and straightening out the covers with more care than necessary, she knew.

When she was done, she stared blankly at it for a few moments. Her memory easily called up the warmth of his body against hers last night, his skilled hands rubbing the tension from her muscles as she sank into him. She would be haunted by the way it felt to have fallen asleep with that man for years to come, probably. She hadn't put up even a fraction of the struggle she should have when he pulled her on him last night. It felt so perfect, too right, and she hadn't had the will or want to fight it at the time.

The emptiness in her seemed to grow by every passing minute.

Forcibly snapping out of her musings, Nanao changed quickly into her uniform. She made her way down the hall, already knowing that he was gone. It felt too hollow in his home. Even without locating him with reiatsu, she could feel his absence in the air.

She found a note explaining that he had to help Captain Ukitake locate and release some seal or other. She squinted at the sloppy words, but it didn't help. They were too quickly scribbled and barely legible. She could read the ridiculous little haiku about her eyes at the bottom of the page just fine, of course. Idiot man.

She left his home quickly, not wanting to linger. It was messing with her head being in there for a prolonged time. Being surrounded by things that were his made her forget things that she certainly shouldn't. She had orders of her own to take care of, she had no time to linger and get lost in memories.

* * *

><p>Flash step carried her over the miles quickly, as she came to the outermost wall of Soul Society. Aizen's orders had been specific, the force field needed to be weakened. The dome was meant to keep things out that had no business entering Soul Society. It was mostly invisible, but could be felt humming with tightly controlled spells when someone stood so close as she did right now.<p>

She studied it for several minutes, feeling out the energy, the weaving of spells intertwined within it. It was powerful, reinforced several times over, and felt immobile as steel in her mind's eye. This was going to be exhausting.

Rolling back her sleeves, Nanao searched out her immediate proximity, confirming she was alone for miles. She had to be quick about this. Captain Kyoraku seemed to be in the general direction of the 13th, and if he was keeping tabs on her, he may decide to investigate if he felt her reiatsu rising. She was in an odd place and about to perform some odd kido. He would be curious if he noticed, no doubt, so she would have to hurry. She couldn't even think of a half decent excuse to give if she were caught out here, tampering with the dome.

And, as for the dome in question, it was made to allow passage for shinigami, but would not take well to having a spell pressed on it. She wondered briefly if there would be any resistance, but decided it wouldn't matter. This had to be done, after all, regardless of ill side effects.

Her hands lit bright, and she raised both palms to the dome's transparent surface. It wavered slightly when she touched it, a shimmer of a mirage-like quality in the air in front of her. It warmed under her touch, like a living thing waking from a slumber, and she felt the shifting of spells within it's density.

Without warning, it snapped a white hot jolt through her hands that traveled up her limbs, sending her body instantly rigid. She yelped in surprise as searing pain that raced through her and jerked away from the dome, tripping backwards.

Stumbling back several paces, Nanao let out a string of curses under her breath, tears springing to her eyes at the horrible burns. There was a faint smell of charred flesh in the air, and she cringed, knowing it was her flesh that was smoldering.

Gods, but that had _hurt_. Really, really hurt. It felt like she had laid her hands on a lighting bolt. Steeling herself for the worst, she raised her hands to her face for inspection. Her palms and fingertips were smudged with blackened skin and blisters, the rest bright, shiny red.

Nanao gritted her teeth against the pain, and stared for several moments at her abused hands, contemplating a course of action. Biting down on her lower lip, and fighting against the childish urge to blow something up, she realized just how bad this little task was going to be to complete.

Glancing back up at the perfectly undaunted dome, she watched in annoyance as it's transparent surface shimmered and reformed. It reminded her of the surface of a lake after a stone was dropped into it, with ripples wavering lazily across the shield, before calming and disappearing once more. In a mocking sort of way, of course.

"You son of a…" She cut her words off, realizing she was speaking to nothing, essentially, and frowned stormily. She couldn't just walk away from this, it _had_ to be done, damn it, and she was going to do it. Bubbling skin and screaming nerves or not.

Stomping back to face off a second time, Nanao jerked her glasses off with tender fingers and laid them on the ground. She blinked at the sudden blurriness in her sight, as her reiatsu climbed higher and higher, and she hoped no one was paying attention to her little display out here. But, it simply couldn't be helped. This thing was more of a challenge than she had assumed.

She gave her hands a mental apology and pep talk before her kido burst back to life, curling around her and casting shadows. A cloud of dust rose and swirled around her feet from the release. There was, not surprisingly, an awful discomfort from her injuries, but she forced it to the back of her mind and raised her hands to the barrier for a second time. The quicker she got it over with, the sooner she could heal. The dome wavered again upon contact, and pushed back at her instantly, hot and angry, refusing the spell she was slamming into it. It tried to fight back again, but she overpowered it, plowing right through the burst that was aimed for her, and forged forward.

There was a repulsion so strong it made her arms tremble, both forces repelling one another, refusing to mix. They were at odds, the dome rejecting what she was trying to influence.

Forehead beading with a sheen of sweat, she increased the pressure. Her heart pounded in her chest, as she labored against the stubborn barrier.

Her own energy was refined, perfected and clever, slipping through the cracks of the dome's spells and slowly working it's way in.

Slowly.

Grudgingly, it accepted her energy, and she felt it flow up and dissipate through the barrier little by little. It was like pouring water into oil, and trying to make them mix and become something else.

The dome fought against the intrusion the whole time, but she pushed on. She twined it throughout with delicate precision, tweaking the makeup of the dome to accept the negacion when it was time. It would continue working through the barrier for hours to come, changing and rebuilding it into something new. Something that would be softer, easier to break through.

Her kido was strong, burning through her veins and flowing out of her hands, and pulling her stamina out with it. Gods, but this was taking forever.

She knew when it had been enough, when the barrier felt more like her spell than it's own, and let out a shuddering sigh. She felt defeated by it, even though she had been the one to overthrow this thing. She was the one drained and wounded, hands burning so badly it pulled her focus away from her task.

After a small eternity, she lowered her hands and her shoulders slumped with exhaustion. Her body felt overheated from the strain, and a headache formed behind her eyes from the prolonged concentration. That was harder than she thought it would have been. She had to resist the urge to sit down in the dirt for a break after that.

She wiped the back of her wrist across her damp face, eyeing the dome with accusation. That whole ordeal had sapped her badly, she was never expecting such resistance from the damn thing. But, in a few hours, the entire dome would be tainted and flexible.

She bent on shaky legs and picked her glasses up. Wiping them off on the hem of her top, she winced and tried so hard to ignore the pain from her fingers and palms. There were so many blisters on her hands now it was impossible not to touch one with the simple action of cleaning her lenses. She set them back on the bridge of her nose, still wincing from discomfort, and looked around the barren landscape surrounding her. She swayed a bit where she stood, and felt weariness settling in.

Dreadful errand done now, she turned and made her way back to her quarters. The sun was rising now, casting the land into early morning.

She needed to eat something, probably. A shower and clean uniform were in order also. She had a feeling this day was going to turn ugly. It was already off to a pretty bad start.

* * *

><p>Nanao had tried to regain her strength with some rest and a light meal, and large amounts of aloe salve to both hands. They still hurt terribly, but were healing quick enough.<p>

She had been summoned with a hell butterfly shortly after she had fallen asleep, letting her know it was time. She hadn't heard from her captain all day, so she was a little anxious when she was making her way to the execution grounds. He had been busy doing who knows what, leaving her to wonder what the hell the plan was supposed to be.

Which was pretty much typical of him, but annoying nonetheless. An idea of what to expect would have been nice.

Now, so close to execution time, Nanao stood on Sōkyoku Hill, the two third seats of the 13th Division flanking her. Captain Kyoraku stood quietly behind her, remaining unusually stoic. He had just arrived as well, and taken up his spot without a word to her. He was humming a little tune to himself, and her eyebrow twitched in irritation. She resisted the unprofessional urge to turn on him for a reprimand. She felt so tired, depleted and in pain from the blisters on her palms, and he had the nerve to stand there being all…himself. She closed her eyes, feeling the headache coming back and prayed for patience. She really could have used a longer nap. Maybe a whole day's worth.

"Are you feeling alright, Nanao-chan?" Her captain's quiet voice interrupted, and she felt the ghost of his fingertips brush at the back of her neck. "You look exhausted."

"Fine, sir." She ground out, taking a step away from him.

"Didn't you sleep well last night?" He asked, and she heard the slight shift of his tone. "_I_ certainly did."

Cheeks pink now, she cowardly refused to turn and meet his gaze. Nanao realized suddenly that this was the first time she had been around him since their sleeping arrangements last night. With any luck, he wouldn't bring that up again. There were more pressing matters going on anyhow. Maybe he would just drop it.

"In fact," He began, and she bit back a groan. "I believe that was the best sleep I've had in a long, long time."

"Glad to hear it." She muttered, glancing at the two 3rd seats, who were pretending not to overhear. They were used to her captain, so maybe they wouldn't get the wrong idea, she reasoned.

"You fit so perfectly against me, don't you think?" He said wistfully, and Nanao clenched her jaws. No, they would certainly get the wrong idea now.

"Sir."

"Yes, lovely?"

"Shut up."

His deep, rumbling laughter was her answer, and the two 3rd seats choked on their own chuckles, and she wondered why things didn't feel different. It felt like any other day, with him embarrassing her and the bickering between them. But, it _should_ feel different, she thought. She was leaving today, tearing the veil from over her head. She should feel horrible, or she should be kinder with her words maybe, because he would remember this day for a long time to come-

She glanced over her shoulder at him, meeting his amused warm eyes, and couldn't help the tiny, almost not there, curve of her lips. She turned back around before he caught sight of it. But, knowing him, he already had.

Yes, she should feel many things right now. But, she was pretty sure she had already exhausted those trains of thought in the weeks leading up to this day. Maybe she had no more tears left, or maybe she had used up all of her guilt and despair thinking about everything. Maybe it had seeped into her skin, and just became a part of her, a constant that was just always there, and it didn't really matter anymore if she knew it or not. Somehow it _didn't_ matter, did it? He was still just himself, and she was still just herself, and they had their strange, unusual relationship that always pulled the air around them. It was all just the same. Never really changing, just turning over and over and _over_….

Maybe she just couldn't quite focus on the future when things seemed so simple around him.

She shook off the oddness, and refocused on the things going on again. The rest of the gathered witnesses were still standing in formation, awaiting things to start. She felt worn-out from her excursion earlier with the barrier spells. She was feeling a little faint in all honesty, having been drained of quite a bit of energy, running on reserves. She hoped things weren't going to get _too_ hairy, she was just barely standing on her own legs. Not for the first time, she cursed Aizen for sending her off to do the dome reconstruction. There was no doubt this day was going to turn messy, and here she was, weakened from running errands for him.

There was a small commotion, as the Kuchiki girl was brought out, dressed in white and lead by some 2nd Division members. Nanao glanced around at the gathering captains and lieutenants warily. There didn't seem to be much response, everyone looked a bit grim. The attendance count was pretty low, this didn't seem to sit right with many of them. Several faces were missing, but there was one she was looking for. Captain Ukitake. He should have been here by now, to do whatever he and her own captain had laid out. But he was still missing.

Where _was_ he? The two third seats fidgeted nervously at her side, probably wondering the same thing as she was. She could feel the uneasiness of her captain behind her, as well, and it did nothing to help her own nerves.

She turned her focus to the execution site, trying to not give away any of her thoughts. The Sokyoku it's self was a symbolic relic in Soul Society. It was a huge, spear-like weapon, big as a tower, suspended by cables and sacred bindings. Nanao stared up at it, wondering what would happen next. Rumor had it the spear had the power of a million zanpakuto, and could completely destroy a soul permanently. And then, the Kuchiki girl was being raised to the top of the other tower. Her face was calm, obviously she had made peace with her sentence.

Nanao distantly registered the Head Captain's command to begin.

She bit her lower lip. It was almost time and he still wasn't here.

She gasped as the spear exploded into flame, morphing into some type of an avian shape. It was blazing hot against her skin as it came to life, a torrent of scorching winds blowing around her with each beat of it's massive wings. That thing was insanely powerful, the pressure in the air intensified almost unbearably, as it hovered overhead and blanketed the sky. She automatically took a step back, bumping into her captain's chest behind her. His hand fell on her shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

"Its alright, Nanao-chan." He said softly in her ear. "He'll be here."

She nodded absently, and stared impatiently at the Kuchiki girl so high up, restrained and waiting her doom. There hadn't been time for her captain to explain when he had arrived, but she trusted that things wouldn't progress too far. She wasn't worried, she knew Captain Ukitake would make it, but _still_. This girl's life was in his hands essentially. What was the hold up?

There was a booming shriek from the bird-like destroyer above, so loud it rattled her bones. She watched helplessly as it descended toward Rukia, suspended so that she was in it's aim.

"Captain…" She said, uncertainly bleeding through in her voice.

"I know." He sounded tense, but still wasn't making a move. "Just wait for it."

The ground under her feet shook with the force of the bird's impact, as a loud grinding noise echoed out. It sounded like a thunderclap, reverberating around the area loud enough to make several of the gathered wince. The flames leapt and intensified above, blinding them all from what was going on.

Nanao's cheeks felt burnt from the hot waves hitting against her, but she kept her eyes on the sky, trying to see what was happening. Was Rukia dead? She opened her mouth to ask her captain if he could see anything past the flames, but stopped short.

There was something…_there_…an image in the flames. An awareness swarmed her senses and she strained to see better. She felt him up there, whoever it was. A wild reiatsu, something new to her, fighting back the destroyer. The reiatsu sang of it's powerful capability, fierce and undaunted by the bird's attack. It was sloppy, though, leaking out like an inferno from the point above.

But, it seemed to be winning.

Nanao squinted, shielding the blaze with a hand as she tried to discern what was happening. This was a wholly unexpected turn of events.

There was a man up there, shrouded by the flames of the bird.

"Hmm. Good timing." Her captain commented behind her, and Nanao remembered to close her mouth from where it had dropped. A quick glance around the surrounding crowd showed several faces with similar looks. Nanao wasn't alone, no one seemed to know what was going on, either.

The fire bird was suddenly forced back from the execution post, dragging Nanao's attention skyward once again. The colossal flaming creature receded, revealing an unharmed Rukia, and someone new standing guard in front of the girl. It was in fact, a man, if she was seeing things correct. Not a shinigami, not dressed like one anyhow. Just a man, who had stopped the slayer from carrying out the execution. Covered in bandages and holding a gigantic zanpakuto.

"What…?" She heard Kiyone stammer, just as clueless as everyone around. "Who is that, Captain Kyoraku?"

"The one buying our time." He announced, and Nanao could hear the smile in his tone. "That must be Ichigo that we have all heard so much about."

"One of the ryoka?" Nanao murmured, surprised. She hadn't realized they had one so powerful among them. The one her captain had fought had been pitifully weak.

"Ichigo is the ringleader, I believe." He chuckled.

There was indistinct sounds above of bickering, Rukia and the ryoka boy's voices drowning out in the wind.

The bird reared back then, it's pressure skyrocketing, as it built up for another strike.

"Can this Ichigo block a second, more powerful attack, sir?" Nanao asked. She could hear Rukia yelling over the roar of the bird, but the words were lost again.

"Shouldn't have to."

Just as the second strike was about to unfold, some type of cords flew over the bird. Secured around it's neck, and dropping to the ground. Nanao's eyes widened in surprise, and she turned to see Captain Ukitake flashed in, carrying something large and solid.

This was certainly getting interesting.

"That's our signal." Her captain laughed, vanishing from his point behind her.

He was on the other side in a flourish of pink, grabbing the end of the cord as it fell and driving the stake into the ground.

"Fashionably late?" He asked with a smile.

"Sorry. Took a while longer to release than I figured." The white haired captain called by way of apology. He slammed the object into the ground as Shunsui came to his side. Nanao squinted at the object. What did they have?

"The Shihōin Shield?" Soi Fon bellowed, obviously irate. "What the hell are you two doing? Someone stop them!"

Nanao quickly looked around, ready to intercept anyone who would try. But no one moved, they all seemed too shocked to make sense of the events going on.

The two captains ignored the 2nd Division leader all together, pulling out their zanpakuto and imbedding them into the shield. The whole thing lit up bright as the sun, energized by their combined efforts. The energy was suddenly moving, shooting up the cords that held the bird captive.

She watched, awestruck by the events playing out.

When the energy running up the cords reached the neck of the Sokyoku, the bird simply exploded.

There was a collective sound of surprised shouts and gasps. And, high above, fire and embers began raining down on the gathered witnesses.

Dodging a few larger pieces of the hot coals, another flash of light caught her attention. Nanao jerked her eyes back to the accused above, as the structure that held Rukia busted with a loud crack. The ryoka's zanpakuto was responsible for that, from what she could tell.

"Holy crap!" Kiyone gasped, voice straining in disbelief.

Nanao had to agree, eyes wide and adrenaline kicking in. The ryoka was a powerful young man, that much was evident.

Things were happening quick now, as flaming debris fell around them, Ichigo threw Rukia to the 6th Division lieutenant, who took off at a dead run with her. Three lieutenants went after him, but were blocked by Ichigo, who made quick work of them.

Nanao watched as Byakuya went after the ryoka next, but wasn't able to pay much attention to that. Her attention was brought back by Captain Soi Fon, who took out the two third seats brutally and so quick, Nanao let out a startled gasp.

She made to go after them to help, but Captain Ukitake was in front of her suddenly, ready to put a stop to it himself.

He didn't get far, as a twisted old cane slammed down in his path.

"That's enough." The Head Captain turned his grave gaze to the three of them, his tone hot and angry. Nanao resisted the stupid urge to step closer to her captain. She stood straight and waiting with the other two, lifting her chin a little and praying for courage that she didn't feel coming anytime soon. Fire continued to rain down around them, but it was nothing compared to the wrath in the old man's frosty gaze.

The ground rumbled under Nanao's feet from the combined forces of Captain Kuchiki and the ryoka, as their battle raged in the near distance, but it didn't seem to matter right now.

"Shunsui. Jushiro. What you have done is unforgivable." Yamamoto clipped, and Nanao saw them stiffen in response. "This is beyond mere punishment. I know you are not ignorant of what that means."

Before Nanao could consider all the ways the old man planned to fry them, her captain grabbed Ukitake and shouted a cheerful agreement, then vanished, dragging his white haired friend along with him.

_Damn! _She squeaked mentally. Way to leave her holding the bag. Nanao didn't waste a second, before she followed.

Moving at top speeds behind the two captains, Nanao wondered what the hell she had gotten herself into.

* * *

><p>Nanao arrived moments after the two captains, in a far reaching corner of Soul Society. She was panting, the high velocity flash steps having taxed her already exhausted reserves to the limit.<p>

Her captain turned at her arrival, and grinned happily.

"Nanao-chan! I didn't expect you to follow us into this!" Shunsui called, amused. She shot him a look. After the chase he just lead her on, she was in no mood.

"What else would I be doing, sir?" She grumbled, irritated. Although she could think of a hundred other places she would rather be, she stood firm. Her hands were still burning and she was light headed, but she was in this for the long run. This was perhaps the last thing she would stand by her captain for.

He smiled a true smile back at her, and she saw the pride in his gaze.

The Head Captain appeared so sudden, that the three of them all jerked their gazes to him in surprise. He was completely unruffled by the long trek out here, aloof and calm, despite the pursuit. Not even a flutter to his robes.

_Shit_. She thought. She was sure she had used more curse words today than she had in 30 years.

But…it was more than called for. She hadn't planned this far ahead into the near future as to what she should be doing once it all went down. This was the _Head Captain _of Soul Society, for god's sake, and he was mad. Really mad. Pissed, was probably more accurate. And she was on his list by association with the two men in front of her. As usual.

"Yama-jii." Her eyes landed on the pink clad form of Captain Kyoraku, standing squarely and at the ready, his voice calm and welcoming, even. A wash of composure fell over her at his familiar easy mood, instinctively trusting in whatever was about to happen. He was here, so the rest didn't really matter. It would work out. She was sure she should be scared, or terrified for that matter, but she couldn't find any fear in the situation. Odd, really, considering everything.

The Head Captain was going on about his disappointment, and Nanao couldn't help but to think of paradoxes and similarities. By the end of this day, it would be _her_ mentor, showing his disappointment in her. She glanced over and studied her captain's profile, jaw set and features serious for once. His eyes were troubled, she could plainly tell. She wondered if he felt a little hurt by Yamamoto's words. They had a long history between them.

She knew she would have no right to feel hurt, if he decided to give a similar speech when the Aizen betrayal was in full light. It would be hers to welcome, and it would be expected.

The atmosphere around her seemed to charge with combined tension, and it snapped her attention back to the three men. Reaching into her sleeve, Nanao prepared to draw. She knew she was no match, but she was resigned to see this whole thing through to the end. It was the unspoken promise to her captain, to stand by his side even when it was a hopeless situation, like this. She was weakened and far from prepared to stand against Captain Yamamoto, but it didn't matter. She would never be prepared to take on the Head Captain, so now was as good of a time as any other. Besides, there was no honor in getting fried without at least drawing her sword.

At her movement, the old man's eyes snapped to her, his reiatsu suddenly flared so strong it felt like a brick house was dropped on her from above. If she were at full power, it may not of had such an effect on her, but right now she could hardly move, hardly _breath_. She felt paralyzed by his superior might, suffocating under it's weight and frozen in sudden panic.

She was on her knees before she had a chance to even protect herself, her joints giving out under the strain. The rocks on the ground were suddenly biting into her skin, but she couldn't even find the breath to gasp at the pain.

The pressure increased, and Nanao felt like she was at the bottom of the ocean, with the weight of the water crushing the air from her lungs and wringing her limbs of movement. She managed to throw her arms out and caught herself from doing a face-plant into the ground. Her elbows trembled from the effort of holding her upper body in such turbulence, but she managed to force herself to fall back, holding herself in a semi-sitting position.

Arms relieved, they hung limply at her sides as she felt the warm wetness of blood on her knees and a new stinging from her palms where they had scraped against the ground as well. But she could do nothing about any of it. Her skin itched with the prickling feeling of a cold sweat, and she couldn't even pick herself up out of the dirt if she tried. She couldn't _breath_, couldn't take a single gasp of life giving air, she was sinking in the currents of spiritual pressure bearing down on her. The air around her felt heavy and hot, charged with fury, and pressing in from every angle.

_Is this really how I'm going to die? _She thought, bitterly.

After everything, all the guilt and double guessing, she was going to die from lack of oxygen? It was so ridiculous, she could hardly believe it. She would have laughed at the irony if she wasn't so busy trying not to pass out. Tunnel vision was starting, and she swayed slightly. She managed a glare in the old bastard's direction, but was sure it lost it's effect when she felt the wild panic of imminent death so close.

The old man's eyes narrowed in response, and Nanao felt the pressure go up another notch.

She really was going to die here, before ever getting the chance to set things right again.

No. That can't happen, she had too much to fix, people were waiting for her, there was still too much to make up for yet…

Her vision was clouding, her ears ringing so loud it was almost painful.

Shunsui was watching his sensei with wariness, waiting for whatever came next.

He wasn't happy about having to stand against his mentor, but it was inevitable at this point. This was a likely outcome of their intervention in the execution. It had been talked through between him and Jushiro, and they knew the consequences of their meddling would be bad.

So focused on Yama-jii, he didn't catch the problem behind him right away. In fact, he had thought the old man seemed a bit distracted, but didn't put two and two together right away. A mistake he would no doubt loose sleep over in the days to come, considering what he discovered next.

He was alerted when he heard a struggling sound, and whipped his head around instantly. His heart skipped a beat at the blue tint to his lieutenant's lips, her widened eyes, her little body bowing under the stress pressing down on her, the grim set of her jaw and furrowed brow that told him she knew what was next. Nanao had collapsed, the old man was using an immense concentrated pressure, holding her pinned under the force.

He didn't think, didn't need to, before he was covering her, sheltering her from the reiatsu. He pulled her to him, and threw his own reiatsu around her, protecting her from all directions and shielding her small frame.

He heard her gasp in air, breathing in deeply as she fell against him. She was trembling, cold and clammy. He pressed his face against her hair and willed her to recover faster, to be alright, to regain her composure and yell at him for not noticing what had been happening. She could have been dead…he could have turned to find her lifeless and never known it was going on.

"Nanao…" She had been dieing, right behind him, and he was standing only a few paces away the whole time?

Foolish, foolish, _foolish_…

"I'm alright, now." She managed, horrified at how unsure her own voice sounded. He tucked her to his chest, where she drew in ragged gulps of air. She gripped his clothing in tight, trembling fists. If he moved his arms away from her, she knew she couldn't hold herself up right now.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize…" He tried, but stopped, knowing there was no words that could make up an apology. He concentrated on reigning in his own upset over what just happened. "S'ok." She managed, throat dry and tight.

His arms wrapped around her tighter, and she leaned against him heavily. Shunsui stroked her hair and noticed just how depleted her spiritual pressure felt. That worried him, she felt only a percentage of her usual force. What the hell had happened? Did the old man do this to her? He had assumed Yama-jii had only wanted to run her off, at the least. Kill her, at the most, if he was in a particularly cruel mood and wanted to send a harsh message to his students. But not drain her like this, that wasn't really his style.

Regardless, he needed to get her out of here, she didn't feel right to him, and wouldn't fare well against another similar attack.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you be a part of this." He whispered, giving voice to his regrets.

She sniffed at his apology and wished she had the energy to berate him for sounding so hard on himself. This was hardly his fault, but she didn't have her breath for words just yet. "Hang on."

She felt the world tip and distort as he flashed them back to the 8th grounds in one swift step.

"Do you need to go to the 4th?" He asked, laying her in the warm grass.

"No." She assured, meeting his eyes. "I'm feeling better."

"Nanao…" He looked conflicted, hovering over her.

"You should go." She encouraged, knowing Captain Ukitake would need his wing man.

"Stay here, alright? We'll handle the rest." His fingertips touched her cheek lightly and she nodded that she would be fine.

He was gone before she could blink, probably wanting to keep Captain Yamamoto from coming after him for taking too long.

Nanao laid still for several moments, taking in the late morning and the sun shining bright. Stupidly, she stared up at the blue sky overhead, and thought that it was a lovely day. Mocking, almost, considering everything going on.

Her mind raced with thoughts of Aizen, of the Kuchiki girl, and of the events that transpired over the course of the morning. She thought of the Head Captain's heavy-handed wrath, and of her Captain. She thought about the 8th Division and the hours to come. What was this feeling? It was hard to put a name to.

After mulling it over, Nanao closed her eyes with a sad resignation.

Hopeless.

She felt like everything was simply hopeless.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed there, but was eventually yanked back to reality when the first vibrations started. The ground under her rumbled, quaking with some unknown force, and Nanao sat up and stared off into the horizon. Far away, she felt the powerful, blinding flare of her captain and of the other two with him.

A fight between them had begun.

In fact, from the feel of things, fights had broke out all across the white city. The spiritual pressure in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife, as it seemed almost every captain and lieutenant was wrapped up in some battle.

Another earthquake shook under her, and she heard shouts and alarms ringing out. The whole place felt like it was falling apart, tearing along the seams, bursts of energy were everywhere, buildings were crumbling, panic was setting into the minds of the soldiers left behind. She listened to the explosions and crashes, as a sure sign of a war started.

Nanao rose to her feet, her brows knitting in understanding. This was all meticulously planned, she was sure. To cause this much of a ruckus, to pit squads against squads, teachers against students, to set loose so much upheaval no one would really be able to focus on the true nature of what was going on around them.

Turmoil, confusion, and betrayal.

Aizen would be beside himself with glee. Those were his weapons of choice, his own brand of disease. And they were flawless in their effectiveness.

* * *

><p>Their fight had come to a standstill, as they listened intently to what was being urged on them.<p>

The message that came across from Isane was disturbing, leaving such a bitter taste in Shunsui's mouth. He shared a startled glance with Ukitake, both men having been utterly stunned by the news.

Captain Aizen? All this time? That was a major shock to the system.

"Yama-jii?" Looking into the eyes of the old man, who at the moment was bathing in the hell fires of his zanpakuto release, a brief understanding passed between them.

They had issues, but there was something more important going on here.

"This will be resumed." The gravelly voice announced.

It was all the encouragement the two men needed, flashing back in the direction of Sokyoku Hill once more.

* * *

><p>Nanao arrived back on the hill, having just heard the same message as everyone around Soul Society. She was a little improved from the stress her body has gone through today, and felt much better with the short break time she had since her Captain dropped her off at the 8th. Her reiatsu wasn't back to normal yet, but it was slowly recovering.<p>

All around her, the Captains were flashing in, followed by their respective lieutenants.

She felt her own captain and Captain Ukitake moments before they both smoothly landed next to her.

She couldn't bring herself to offer a greeting, and they didn't seem to need one at the moment, so she stared ahead at the scene unraveling. Aizen, looking as benign as ever, was being tightly held captive by Captain Soi Fon and Yoruichi. Gin, smiling carelessly, was restrained by Rangiku. Tosen stood back, calmly accepting his own confinement. They all gave the impression of giving up, not fighting the situations they were all in.

Nanao felt the clock start ticking.

"Glad you could all join us." Aizen called warmly to the gathered.

"Silence, swine." Captain Soi Fon snapped, her tiny hand-blade pressing against his skin.

"Seems everyone is here." He remarked, unruffled. His eyes landed on Nanao's and narrowed slightly. "_Alive_."

"Shut up, I said! You have lost this idiotic fight!" Soi Fon bit out, and he chuckled, his smile dark and promising.

But, Nanao knew exactly what he meant, and was turning ideas quickly through her mind. He had expected her to have put one of the deep-rooted captains down, had directly ordered her to do so. And so far, she hadn't followed out with that order.

The two men at her side were oblivious to the undertones, the quiet threat Aizen aimed at her. If she didn't do _something_, he would call her out on it when this was over. He would take out his displeasure on her weakness. She may loose one of the people she has worked so hard for all this time if he decides she disobeyed him. She didn't know what to do, so she went on doing nothing.

"Of course, I suppose you have been a bit busy lately. Perhaps you needed an opening? Perhaps I should have given you one, hm?" He mused, turning his thoughtful expression to the sun. He looked just as peaceful as always, like he didn't have two powerful assassins with blades on him. His words were for her, although not many gathered here would know that. Nanao's eyes darted around, why the hell didn't they stack more against him? Did they think he was harmless restrained like that? So many of the ranked officers standing around hadn't so much as drawn their zanpakuto.

Gods, they had no clue.

"What are you going on about? I said to shut up!" Soi Fon yelled, frustrated.

Nanao looked on uneasily at the presumably restrained man. The two woman holding him were in for a surprise. Kyōka Suigetsu was a force to be reckoned with, and she had no doubt Aizen would make them all eat that fact. He smiled to himself, and Nanao tensed, knowing he was up to something now.

Before she could blink, Aizen was gone, leaving the two woman to stumble at the sudden shift in balance. She wondered if he was ever really there at all.

"Wha-?"

"Where is he?"

She felt him appear suddenly behind her, so close, and heard the sound of metal leaving it's sheath. The soldier in her registered the blade raising over her, it's shadow blocking the sun from her eye, felt the preparation of his strike.

"I'll give you the opening you need." His voice whispered into Nanao's ear, so quiet it was like a secret gifted. She heard the swish of clothing as the down sweep descended. He was aiming for her neck, but that wasn't his target. She knew he was playing some game of his. He wasn't trying to kill her, not yet anyhow. The two captains standing at her side sprung into action so fast, their movements were a blur.

Nanao found herself suddenly staring into the black and white-clad chest of Captain Ukitake as his zanpakuto swung at a breathtaking speed inches from the top of her head, intercepting Aizen's blade with a ear-splitting clang of steel. She winced, startled by the clash, and watched as a few strands of her hair glided down across her vision, having been severed by the close sweep of the two deadly blades. Captain Ukitake yanked her closer with a free hand on her arm. She was shoved roughly behind him before she registered he had moved her.

"Swift you are, Captain." Aizen purred, his eyes flashing to Nanao's from where she stood behind the white haired man. His smirk sent her teeth on edge, before his eyes flickered back to his opponent.

Captain Kyoraku darted in from the side, intent on cutting Aizen down while he was locked with Captain Ukitake, but Aizen simply vanished. Her captain pulled his twin swords back and whirled, scanning the surroundings, his eyes flashing with a dangerous glint she hadn't seen in a long, long time.

"Stay behind us." Captain Ukitake commanded, pushing her between them and turning his back to her as well. She felt her heart pounding, everything had happened so fast she was having a hard time keeping up.

"What the hell was _that_ about?" Captain Kyoraku murmured from his stance behind her, voice tight.

"I have no idea. He was certainly aiming for her."

"You alright there, Nanao-chan?"

"Fine, sir." But her eyes dart around, spotting Gin across the plain still at Rangiku's blade, Tosen captive as well further back, and the other gathered captains had finally drawn their weapons.

But where was Aizen?

"Why, though?" Captain Kyoraku continued to wonder, never turning his attention away from their surroundings, swords still at the ready. Nanao could feel the anticipation practically radiating off the man, he never did take kindly to attacks on his subordinates. "Any ideas?"

"I'm an easy target?" Nanao guessed, trying to lighten the mood, and heard her captain snort in response.

"Not with us around." Ukitake said, winking back at her over his shoulder.

"He will not get that close again." Her captain agreed.

"It's almost time." Aizen's voice announced, jerked everyone's attention to the man in question, who stood ideally close to Tosen now. His hands were tucked casually into his sleeves, and he glanced over at Nanao again, cocking an eyebrow.

The gesture held a message. It was challenging, encouraging, and she felt sick abruptly. The smooth, manipulative bastard. She realized what the hell was going on now. What he had done with the simple act of attacking her.

He had turned the two captain's very nature against them. Looking to the two men guarding her, she was presented with both of their backs. Both were open for a strike from her now, as they were too absorbed in waiting for Aizen's next move. Too absorbed in protecting her.

Soi Fon and Yoruichi sprung at Aizen, but a flick of his wrist sent explosive high level kido to intercept. Both women dodged easily enough, and countered again.

Nanao knew he was only playing with them. His slower than usual kido lacked the speed to catch either assailant, more distracting to them than actual danger. He was doing little more than keeping them at a distance, while he waited for Nanao to make her move.

"Maybe…you two should help them?" Nanao suggested quietly, hoping they would go. Praying they would go. Get out of the situation they were in without ever realizing. "They don't seem to be able to get near him."

"There are plenty of Captains here, Nanao-chan. He isn't going to get far."

_Stupid, idiotic, logical man! _She fumed. She felt the claws of dread coiling in her.

"I really think they may need help, sir." She tried again, heart pounding when Aizen met her eyes across the distance, a frown marring his features. He was loosing his patience as she kept stalling.

"I'm not leaving you unprotected. He took a swipe at you, I'm not going to allow it to happen again." He said firmly.

Damn it. Time was running out, the negacion should open any moment now, she could feel the tingle of her spells in the barrier. The tear was starting to form high above, and any second now it would be too late to do anything to appease Aizen.

She took a deep breath, considering her options. She had to do _something_, and it had to be convincing enough to keep Aizen mildly satisfied.

Her energy wasn't anywhere near what it usually was, but powerful enough for one more high level strike. Nanao willed herself to relax, as her energy lit up her hands in a bright burst. Both men at her side looked back at her, questions in their gazes. She raised her energy to deadly levels, condensing it to her palms, and at the ready for release.

"I'm not unprotected." She said quietly, and they turned back to the fight ahead, accepting her flaring kido behind them as a show of proof to her words. Not as the attack against them it was going to be. They would never think such a thing of her. She felt nauseous at the realization.

"I know, Nanao." Her captain assured. "But I'm not taking any chances."

She nodded, even though they couldn't see her. No, of course he wouldn't take such a chance. It wasn't in him to risk someone's life when he had the power to prevent it.

She looked at Captain Ukitake's back on her right, his white hair swaying in the light breeze. He was so genuine, so honest. A man of guidance and grace. Always a steady presence in her life up until this point.

She turned to the left, and took in her own captain. A kinder, gentler person would be hard to find. A true friend to her. Protective and wise, and a thousand other things she could never properly give words to.

She closed her eyes, and raised her glowing hands, one to each of their directions.

_They will be fast enough_, she thought, biting back the sting of tears. _They are so much more capable than me. I could never catch them off guard._

She felt damp and dark, she felt so disgusted she wondered if she was going to loose her last meal. She felt so sick. Right down to her soul, deep and aching and churning.

_They will notice in time. They will get out of the way. Even if it would hit, they would survive it. Right? They are not so weak to die from this. I have nothing to worry about, it will never hit. But even if it did, they would survive it._

The thought of hurting either man was absolutely disgusting to her.

_They will move._

She straightened her arms, palms facing to the two men who trusted her explicitly. They were distracted, not registering her kido as any sort of threat to them still. Probably assuming she was simply prepared in the event another attack from Aizen would occur.

_They will move. _

Nanao opened her eyes, and met Aizen's once more. He had allowed the two women to restrain him again, it seems. He was still waiting for her to make him proud.

_They will move. _

She felt it then, the powerful tear in the weakened barrier. The transportation had started. It was now or never.

_Please, god, move!_

With a sharp, painful intake of breath, Nanao released the two potent blasts.

And prayed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

As always, a nod to the reviewers:

**VoldemortsFanGirl: **I know! Even though I wrote this damn story, I keep thinking, 'god, just ask him for help!' hahaha I'm a little nuts though, obviously. Glad your into it ^_^

**Anonymous01: **Thank you much!

**Flowergod613: **Your not a pain, its frustrating when you wait for an update. And I promise to try my hardest to not take too long!

**JenovaJuice97: **Sorry! No reactions just yet! Next chapter will be that section. I had to split the chapters, to get everything to fit like I wanted.

**Akai-Miko: **Thank you so much, you make me blush! Xoxo

**Tii-chan17: **Thanks! Hopefully, if all goes well, the updates will be fairly quick. This is an older story I'm revising, so it's already done, just getting an upgrade.

**Amiable: **My only defense for him is people see what they want to sometimes. That, and well, he is a man. Hahahaha Thanks!

**Snowkid**: Thank you! You're a faithful reviewer always!


	5. Chapter 4

**Black and White **

**By: Light of the Firefly**

**Chapter 4**

* * *

><p><em>I've felt the hate rise up in me. <em>

_Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves._

_I wander out, where you can't see. _

_Inside my shell, I wait and bleed._

_-Slipknot (Wait and Bleed)_

* * *

><p>As the dust cleared from the twin explosions, Shunsui smelled the smoldering fibers of his clothing long before he actually noticed the accompanying pain from under their layers.<p>

There was the warm wetness of blood running down his back, and he realized he had been hit at close range above his shoulder blade.

His feet were now planted several meters away from his original position, the instinct to move out of the way from such an attack had driven his actions without much conscience thought on his part. It had lit up his awareness bright as the sun when she released the blast.

The smoldering cloth spread into several tiny flames while he stood there trying to make sense of things. With his world spinning, he jerked the two burning haoris off, ignoring the pull at his new wound from the action, and tossed them away distractedly.

He sought out his little lieutenant with his eyes, and she stared back through the haze of the dust cloud. Her hands still glowing faintly, and she had such an indifferent look about her features he felt the first stirrings of unease.

"Nanao, are you alright?" He asked, his gaze darting over her form and all around her. She seemed unhurt, although her eyes were a bit too vacant. He found Gin, Aizen, and Tosen still restrained some distance away, having not moved an inch.

There were no threats around, but surely something caused her to cast off such a nasty spell. Slowly, he tried to process what the hell just went on. His shoulder burned with the angry heat of the kido shot, but there was nothing that would have provoked such a thing from her. But, surely_, surely_, there had been some reason.

He took a step toward her, and she took one back in response, her kido flaring bright in warning. He froze, a pang of disbelief clenching his gut at the sight of her retreating from him.

He frowned, confused on so many levels he wasn't sure which to address first.

"What happened? What were you firing at?"

"I assumed that to be blatantly apparent, sir." She clipped, angry at having to make him see the truth. He was one of the most intelligent men she knew, yet here he was: oblivious.

She glanced over to Ukitake, who was approaching her captain now. His face was troubled, and she realized he had already came to the correct conclusion and accepted it as such. She felt a burning guilt, but squashed it ruthlessly. She would show no such emotion under Aizen's watchful gaze. These two men were dear friends of hers, and now she had to make them hate her.

"Your hurt." Jushiro pointed out once he reached Shunsui's side.

"Did you see anything?" He asked, ignoring the statement altogether.

"I saw what you did."

"She fired at someone…" A feeling of apprehension settling in his chest, and his voice sounded so odd to his own ears.

"Shun…" There was a sharp warning in Jushiro's tone. "She was firing at-"

"-Don't!" He said fiercely, snapping his eyes over to meet the white haired man's. "How could you even think..?"

"How could you not?" He answered quietly.

Shunsui looked back to where Nanao stood silently, his mind turning with possibilities. She had fired off two high level blasts, and they had been aimed, quiet perfectly, at him and Jushiro. He couldn't deny that fact. He had moved, of course, impulse had kicked in in the split second needed to avoid the searing heat. In fact, he had moved faster than he had in a long time, but it hadn't been quick enough. The kido had clipped his shoulder with such force it almost knocked him to the ground. It had just grazed him, but was packing enough punch to rattle his bones from the slight impact. Like a white hot fist slamming into his shoulder from behind. If he hadn't been in the process of a flash step, he may have lost his arm from such a strike.

A strike Nanao had sent at him.

So now, he stood with his oldest friend, and regarded his lieutenant with calculating eyes.

"No." He said firmly, shaking his head to reinforce his voiced thoughts, although he wasn't sure which question in his mind he was answering. She simply could never have been a part of this mess. He refused to even think along those lines anymore. Aizen, Gin, and Tosen were obviously a part of it, but not her.

Never Nanao-chan.

It was too impossible. He _knew_ her. He knew who she was, and she was not what Ukitake was implying. She was not deceitful, he knew this because she was…she was…

_No._ She could never have been any part of this.

"Nanao-chan, tell us what happened." He asked her, a firm note of command in his voice. He wanted to go to her, but didn't want to see her move away from him again. "Please."

"Don't do this to yourself." Jushiro advised, looking pained. He reached for his arm but Shunsui jerked it from his grasp violently.

"Don't say something like that to me!" He snapped, irritated with everyone in the vicinity. "It's not-"

"-You know the answer. Stop thinking with your heart."

"No, YOU stop talking like that!"

"Then open your eyes!" Jushiro shouted back, angry now. His dark eyes flashed to the woman in question, and he frowned stormily. How dare she put them through this. He hadn't been hit by her kido, because out of the two of them, he had moved fast enough to avoid any damage. Only because he hadn't questioned the likeliness of Nanao aiming for something else, as Shunsui had. But he may as well have been hit, for he felt such a deep wound from this.

"I hope it was worth it, Ise-san." He said quietly, accusingly.

She raised her eyes to his across the small distance, and Jushiro found he was more hurt than truly angry with her.

Nanao felt all the air leave her at his softly spoken harsh words. She swallowed thickly, and managed to force out a response. "It will be."

Shunsui opened his mouth to berate Ukitake for his wording, and to ask Nanao what the hell she meant, when the sky ripped apart with an earsplitting crack.

The negacions fell, and a shout from Yoruichi was the only warning to the others to get out of the way. In the nick of time, the captains and lieutenants who had surrounded the traitors removed themselves, before the light would have trapped them.

When the commotion settled, Shunsui's eyes drew back to Nanao, who was bathed in the eerie yellowish light like the others. Her eyes were downcast, as she lowered her hands back to her sides. There was no more fighting to be done.

"Nanao!" He shouted, diving for her.

Ukitake flashed in front of him, and was in his path instantly, shoving back at him with everything he had.

"Stop this!"

"No!" He struggled for all he was worth, but Ukitake wouldn't budge. His arms were locked like steel around him. His shoulder screamed in pain, but it didn't matter. Nothing did, except getting Nanao out of there. She was trapped, and needed him.

"Let it be, my friend." Ukitake's voice was melancholy, as he continued his restraint.

Shunsui fought against his friend's grip harder, both men immobile against the other.

"Let me go, she needs-"

"-She's with them."

"No!"

Nanao tried not to hear the refusal in her captain's voice, she tried not to listen to his disbelief. She had expected such a reaction, after all. The ground broke under her feet, as the transportation began.

She felt herself lifting slowly into the air.

She heard Aizen giving his speech to those who stood close to him, his words smug and condescending.

"Nanao-chan!"

Nanao raised her eyes finally, and met her captain's across the short distance. She tried to keep the perfect mask of calm in her features. Tried to appear uncaring and cold. She looked at him, and met his gaze.

Everything around them seemed to narrow, to include only the two of them as they looked at one another.

She willed him to leave it alone. She willed him to accept this. But she saw in his eyes was a dangerous light, it was raw and hurting, unstable and unpredictable.

It took her breath away.

She prayed he couldn't see into her, prayed he couldn't see the fear and aches that ate her alive. She prayed he would accept that she was a traitor, and view her as an enemy. To fight against her from this point on, not to fight for her. She prayed for him to hate her now, to let her go.

But, those eyes told her differently.

He struggled harder at the flash of emotion Nanao let slip through her passive façade, and she could tell Captain Ukitake was having a hard time keeping him back now.

"Stand down." Yamamoto's voice boomed, "we cannot touch them now."

"Like hell I can't." Shunsui snarled, his reiatsu exploding around him. Nanao couldn't feel it from inside the light, but she watched mutely as several gathered ranking officers stumbled and fell to their knees. The packed dirt under the two captain's feet was cracking, breaking apart and being blown away from the force.

With a twist, he freed himself from restraint, and flashed to where Aizen was rising in a blink of an eye. Captain Ukitake and Captain Unohana appeared in front of him moments later, ready to stop him if he were to try to get too close to the negacion.

"Release her!" He demanded, ignoring to two captains who stood at the ready in his path.

Nanao watched, dumbstruck, and Aizen had the distinct look of a startled man. It only lasted a moment, before he composed his features once more and smirked down at him.

"Your asking me to let her go? You surprise me, I had assumed you to be a fairly intelligent man, Captain Kyoraku." He let out a chuckle. "Do you honestly not understand what is going on here?"

"Release her, or so help me, I'll-"

"-You'll what? The old man speaks the truth, you cannot touch any of us. We have already stepped out of your dimension." Aizen taunted, tucking his hands into his sleeve, appearing casual and aloof. He took in the raging captain beneath him, then his eyes slid to Captain Ukitake and Unohana, who's features were hard but far from unaware. "Ah, I see now. You don't _want_ to understand, do you?"

"If you take her, I will hunt you down." He vowed, quietly, leveling his glowing gaze on the man above him. Nanao's stomach clenched at the words. "And I promise, I will find you."

If the threat worried Aizen, he never showed it. He took a moment to choose his next words.

"Don't you get it, Captain? She is mine. She has _always_ been mine. Right from the beginning." He answered, relishing in the anguish playing out. "Let me spell it out for you, hm? From the moment you met your lieutenant, she has belonged to me. She plays a perfect part, don't you think? You have never suspected such a thing, have you? Of course not. She has been flawless in her illusions. I picked her for you, specifically. She was the perfect match, wouldn't you agree? She was everything you would find intriguing. The resemblance with your previous lieutenant was just an added bonus, of course. A perk that drove the nail home, I believe. You never did get over that whole mess did you? You saw a piece of her in Ise. It was instinctual, you couldn't help feeling like she was your second chance. You trusted her from the beginning, you never would have guessed such a thing out of her. Because of your very nature, she slipped right under the radar. She had full access to everything I ever needed. Because, her captain was a drunk who couldn't be bothered to do his own work. So, he gave her the codes and clearance. He trusted his second in command to use them honorably, and never thought twice about it. Do you see now? This was all carefully planned. You have been little more than a puppet."

Feeling deflated, Shunsui swallowed thickly. Was it really so simple? All this time?

"That can't-"

"-Blinded. You were blinded." Aizen interrupted in his false soothing tones, glancing around the stunned group of captains and lieutenants. "As were so many others. Don't feel embarrassed, Captain Kyoraku, you are hardly the only one who has learned such a harsh truth today. But, make no mistake, she _is_ mine, and so I am taking her."

"You bastard." Shunsui seethed, his grip on his zanpakuto was so tight it was painful. He wanted to kill the man, he wanted nothing more than the feel of his blade buried in his flesh, he wanted to erase this whole day, he wanted to relive the last several years in ignorance over again, he wanted to grab Nanao by the shoulders and shake her violently and demand answers from her lips.

He wanted to hear _her_ confirm it, needed to hear _her_ say it.

"Yes. Yes, I suppose I am." Aizen murmured above, watching the acceptance sink in. He smiled, and looked up. They were almost there now. "It's been a pleasure, but more important matters are calling for my attention. We will all be seeing each other soon enough, I promise."

Feeling utterly defeated, Shunsui's zanpakuto dropped to his sides, falling to the dry ground with a clatter, his limbs suddenly too heavy to hold them. He shared a wordless moment with the two captains facing him, too weary for words right now. They looked back with quiet understanding. Pity shining in their eyes. They understood, without needing the voice.

He turned back to face Nanao again, one last time before she was gone.

She held herself up straight, a perfect stature of elegance and subdued submission. He could see it now, clearly, that she was Aizen's. She wasn't fighting to get free. She wasn't fighting to get back to him. She was going willingly, without anger or upset. Her violet eyes dull with resignation. She was calm.

He wished he could feel the same, but his instincts were screaming at him, refusing to believe she would be a traitor. Refusing to believe she would betray _him_. His gut feeling was telling him that she needed him, and he couldn't help it, didn't want to, but he wanted nothing more than to tear this whole place apart to free her from it. To expose a truth he that wanted to believe so badly.

He felt something inside cracking and splitting open. A huge, empty gorge, where he was sure his heart was.

He had to fight the urge to go to her, to try everything in his power to break her out of that light. Even though his logical reasoning told him that she didn't need freed. She wasn't going against her will. She was a part of this, no matter what he wanted to believe. That was the fact.

And the fact was what hurt, worse than thinking he couldn't help her.

The fact was she didn't want his help, never wanted it, and it was all a lie.

Everything between them had been an elaborate act on her part? She wasn't who he had always known her to be?

He felt a little dizzy on his feet, listless, and the wound on his shoulder throbbed in rhythm with his heartbeat.

A wound _she_ had given him.

Because she didn't care, never had, and her actions were adding up now, weren't they? She had aimed at him, had tried to hurt him. She thought of him as an enemy all this time, not a friend, never anything but the opposite side of where she was. She had played her part in all this, hadn't Aizen said so? She had gained his unwavering trust, because it had been her job to do so.

It was a pill too big to swallow, it was a knife so sharp it hardly stung. It was such a horrible realization, like he had never received in his long life.

He loved this woman, had loved her for years. And she didn't even exist?

"Nanao-chan…" He whispered, his voice lost in the wind, he was sure. Which was good, because no one probably heard the cracking in his tone.

She was so still, unmoving and aloof as she was raised to the sky. He had always had a talent for reading her subtle expressions. But right now, she was giving away nothing. She had full control over her features once more. She stared back from where she was silently.

He wondered what his gaze said to her right now.

_I can't understand this. This can't be right. Everything is so wrong that it just can't be the way it is._

He hoped on some distant level, that she couldn't read his thoughts so easily right now. They were swirling, bleak and confused.

_I think I'm bleeding out. I think something split apart inside._

He couldn't hide it from her if he tried right now, anyways. He wondered if she even cared. He didn't really know, did he? He had no idea who she was anymore, now that things were obvious to him. She wasn't his Nanao-chan at all, maybe never was.

_I think I'm losing you. I think you were never here to begin with._

The transport was almost complete, he could hear the Menos Grande chortling through the tear in the sky.

He kept steady eye contact with her until the last. There was nothing he could do. So, he watched, with the rest of the officers, as the four of them vanished.

* * *

><p>Nanao stared back, feeling as if she owed her Captain this one honor. To bare witness to his hurt. She was responsible, after all. It was only right.<p>

She heard the other officers shouting below, barking orders and getting ready to leave this hill.

She heard the cracking and snuffling above her, as the Menos moved about.

She heard Aizen laugh, she heard Rangiku scream, she heard Captain Komamura pleading, she heard Lieutenant Hisagi curse.

She heard her own heartbeat, pounding loudly through her ears.

She even heard sounds of days to come. She heard the clash of battle in her near future. She heard storm clouds on the horizon. She could almost hear the whispering, dark halls of Hueco Mundo. She could almost hear her sister weep with relief of a reunion.

She held his gaze until the seams of dimensional shifts swallowed her whole. Then she heard many more things.

But, loudest of all, echoing through her and tearing her to shreds, was all the things her captain hadn't said.

* * *

><p>The emergency meeting afterwards was a blur. It was long and tedious, Spanning several dull hours.<p>

Captain Kyoraku glanced around the gathered officers with a feeling of detachment. There was so many missing faces, some of which had left and some of which were wounded and in the 4th. The ones who were here seemed as disoriented as he felt. He realized that he wasn't the only one who was blindsided by this day.

The Head Captain had everyone give an account of everything they knew, anything that would help paint a better picture. Shunsui tried hard to pay attention, as he was hoping for more clues to help him figure out his issues. Some of the recounts were new information to his ears, and some of it slipped past him without even being processed. As everyone took their turn giving what they could to the gathered, he felt like he was sinking more and more into his own thoughts.

"-followed to the Central 46 building, where we discovered-"

Several minutes passed with his mind simply blanking out, not listening or thinking at all. Just…fuzzy around the edges and still.

When it became his turn to speak, he glanced pleadingly across the table to his longtime friend. Ukitake understood the message and stood to give their account on both their behalf. Shunsui was thankful, as he was sure he wasn't able to verbalize anything yet. The lump in his throat was still burning and choking.

"-it's unclear how extensive this investigation will have to go to uncover-"

He sat silently as the meeting droned on, staring at a random point on the wall.

He ignored the worried glances that occasionally turned his way.

He ignored the looks of pity, and the ones of understanding.

"-tampered with the main computer systems, so we can't even use those files as an accurate source-"

He tried hard to ignore it all, but not everything was missed. He sharply tuned in when Nanao was mentioned, he heard every accusation and brainstorming done about her. He couldn't help the anger that boiled up when he heard her discussed in such a shameful fashion, but he could do nothing for it. All the traitors were being discussed, and as it stood Nanao's involvement was the one they knew the least about. Tosen had voiced his reasons, his own twisted sense of justice. Gin had always been a loose canon, sneaky and unpredictable. And Aizen had personally explained his intentions.

Nanao was the one in shadows, as no one really knew her well enough to guess at her involvement. No one but him, of course. And he had been so utterly stunned he was still trying to find his way back to the surface. How had he not seen anything? How could he have been so blind?

"-traitorous tendencies against the 13 Squads, and-"

He clearly pictured her face, still so beautiful to him after all these years. He could imagine her rare smiles and every other expression she had. Every subtle movement she made he filed away to hold forever in his memory.

He missed her already.

"-and as for the protective dome, it would have taken quite a bit of power and concentration to manipulate-"

He leaned back heavily in his chair, wincing as his uniform caught on the edge of the burn she had given him. It was still open and fresh, but he had waved away Captain Unohana's hands when she had tried to help. The pain was a welcome distraction right now. It was helping to remind him that she had in fact been involved, regardless what he wanted to believe.

"-perhaps going on for much longer than we ever expected, perhaps spanning several years, even, and-"

He felt like he was drifting, his thoughts were such a jumble. They raced through his mind too fast to focus on, as the events of the day caught up with him.

And not just this day, but so many from his past. He found himself recounting the years with a fine-toothed comb, searching for clues that he was sure were under his nose all this time. Surely, if he hadn't been so attached to his lieutenant, he would have seen some hint, some proof, any sort of solid evidence.

Right?

People tended to see what they wanted to, see what they expected to. Was he guilty of that?

It was strange, though. Because now that he has been enlightened to the truth, he should be able to think back, and say to himself: 'Ah, it makes sense now!'

"-it is believed that the execution was in fact a staged event, to extract-"

But, as he dug deeper and deeper through his memories, there seemed to be very few cases he could actually examine. The few things that came to mind, were not helping him. At all. In fact, they spoke of a very different reality to him.

One instance was the bruises on her neck from just last night. She had brushed off answering where they were from. He wondered now what the real cause of such a mark was. More memories floated, of other unanswered injuries he had noticed on her over the years. Random bruises, mostly, and occasionally burns. She had always had a perfectly legitimate excuse, and so he had never focused too much on the possible underlying cover-up. She would blame them on kido practice, or combat training.

And now that he thought about it, he had never witnessed Nanao training at anything. She had refused his offers to help her over the years, only accepting when he forced a spar on her. Those were some of his favorite memories of her, getting to play with his Nanao-chan. With her cheeks flushed and kido blaring, she was stunning in her battle form. She seemed to always enjoy herself when he initiated such afternoons. But, she always held back on him, never releasing her zanpakuto. Now, he wondered why. Had she been hiding some specific skill? Or simply wasn't comfortable with her sword?

Regardless, she never openly practiced that he ever noticed. Perhaps she went somewhere far from the city? She was incredibly private about her abilities, about everything really. So, he wondered, did the bruises and burns over the years really come out of some training she had done? Or was there something more? Had she been in trouble? Had Aizen somehow been responsible? Had she been hurt all these years while he stood by doing nothing? Did she ever have a choice?

_Oh god_, he though miserable. Why was he trying to imagine her hands being forced in this? Was he so desperate that he needed to believe that someone could force Nanao-chan to do anything she didn't want to?

"-and so, on this day, special wartime orders will be issued. With the absence of Central 46, the acting body of law falls to this room, and so-"

But…if she _hadn't_ had a choice…? If she hadn't _wanted_ to do any of it? Did Aizen have something on her? Something she would do anything for?

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to stop the wince at such thoughts.

Gods, he would have helped her. If that was the case, he would have stood by her.

He knew, with perfect sureness, he would have done anything for her. If she had only asked, if she had only come to him. Even if he knew the whole truth, about all the scheming and traitor business, he would have helped her. The details wouldn't have mattered. He knew himself well enough to know, he would have bent any rule for her. He would have fixed anything, gone to any length. If she had told him she needed him, he would have been there.

_Nanao-chan never asked for anything_, he reminded himself. She was too proud, too private, and too far for him to reach her now anyway.

His jaw clenched. Why was he punishing himself with all this?

He couldn't help but to wonder, though. If she had truly needed help, had it been obvious, if only he had known what to look for?

Or was this just him, grasping at straws and wishing so bad for a good reason to go to Hueco Mundo and tear it apart?

Was he imagining things from the past, trying to justify her actions today?

Was he in deep denial?

He didn't know. He had never felt so lost in his entire life.

"-and the remaining captains and lieutenants are to execute on sight any of the above listed, should paths cross-"

'_Execute on sight'? _He distantly registered that phrase.

The meeting went on without him, and he sat in his uncomfortable chair, and wondered just what the hell he was supposed to do now.

* * *

><p>"We are finally free." Aizen announced as the four of them touched down, sandals sinking into the sand. Nanao glanced over at the man and almost showed her disgust at his smug face. Almost. But she had more self control than that.<p>

She watched warily as Aizen took a long, deep breath, seeming to savor the very atmosphere. Which was uncomfortably charged with it's own strange energies. Nanao knew, from her time spent here so many years ago, that her skin would crawl from the feel of this place for days until she adjusted. A Shinigami was naturally uncomfortable in this place, repelling to each other's energies like polar opposites.

"No welcome home party?" Gin asked flippantly, looking around the expanse of endless dunes and night sky. It was utterly empty of life forms. The quiet here was eerie, Nanao had almost forgotten the strangeness of complete silence in Hueco Mundo. Her ears strained to hear the skittering in the dark she knew she should be hearing. The inhabitants often kept their distance, watching for any chance to attack. The lower hollow life forms tended to know better than to flat out attack a group of Shinigami, unless they were mad with hunger. They liked to bid their time, looking for the weakest and waiting for the chance to isolate and surround them. Like wolves.

"We will be celebrating in Las Noches." Aizen shrugged, his eyes moving to the rough, ragged looking buildings in the distance.

"Ah. An' here I thought they done forgot about us." Gin replied.

"If they have, perhaps we will remind them of who we are when we arrive, hm?" Aizen mused, "Home at long last. It's been entertaining, don't you agree? But I'm quite happy the charade is over."

Without further conversation, they started walking towards the towering buildings ahead.

Tosen said nothing, Gin smirked and tucked his hands into his sleeves, and Nanao moved behind the three of them, hoping to avoid notice altogether. She knew Aizen was displeased with her for not taking one of the Captains out as ordered, but he said nothing on the matter just yet. She could feel his discontent radiating off him, and knew to stay on her toes. It made her jumpy, knowing at any moment, his unpredictable temper could flare.

Perhaps, she thought, he was in a good enough mood that he wouldn't address the issue this day.

Which was worse, really, waiting for the bomb to blow and never knowing when it was set to explode.

She kept her thoughts to herself, eyes scanning the surroundings constantly, and following the three former captains quietly into the very nest of Hueco Mundo.

* * *

><p>Nanao tried not to walk fast or seem hurried.<p>

The halls of Las Noches had eyes and ears everywhere. If she hurried, it would seem as though she were on her way to something important to her.

And weakness was the name of the game here. If you showed any, the inhabitants of this place would swarm it with the sick fixation of vultures. It was a vicious pecking order. Show your Achilles' heel and they would pick at it until it fell apart bleeding.

It was a brutal lesson she had learned at a young age in this place. It was no place for a child, but she had no choice. It was her home for many years. Her father's forced work here had brought her and her sister under this roof. The memories still left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Dwelling on the past did nothing for her, though, and so she forced the train of thoughts away.

She was heading for the lower level which housed the various servants and those who were held in low regard.

She descended a stairwell, and emerged into the halls of the lowest level. It was darker here than on the higher levels, the lighting was just simply few and far between. There was too many shadowed corners through here for her to feel at all comfortable.

Ignoring the leering monsters she passed in the narrow corridor, Nanao kept her shoulders square and her spine straight. Ready for anything. Being human in this place made you instantly hated. Many years have gone by, and many of the new occupants here didn't remember her. Of course, even those who knew she was high ranking could care less. They all operated on such a crude system. There was constant deaths and fights among them, all vying for the upper hand. It was a skewered sense of pack mentality in this place. The strongest rise to the top, and are constantly challenged to keep their reign.

"Shinigami girl came to play with us, hmm?" A hissing female voice commented from the darkened hall to her left, and Nanao didn't even bother to respond. Even this bunch of scum in the lower levels sneered at her for her humanity and uniform she still wore.

"Come back, little one…" Another voice whispered.

"Don't hurry off yet…"

She continued on, with her eyes forward and her nerves frayed. More nasty whispers echoed around her as more of the servants began to take notice. What a day this was. At least the imminent threats in every direction was a perfect distraction to everything else. The deeper she went into the servant's quarters, the more vulgar the words aimed at her got.

She tried to tune out the name calling, as it really wasn't worth her time. Her captain may not have called her vile things like she certainly deserved, but these hollows had no such moral issues doing so. Even though she could splatter them across the floor with her kido, it wasn't worth the hassle. It would spread the word that verbal insults got to her, and then it would start a round of harassment from the higher leveled hollows. She would be forever beating back hecklers, and they would be stronger ones with each passing day.

She knew this place well, had learned to pick her battles.

So, she made her way in silence, to the end of the hall where a single room held the only light in this dreary, dark confinement.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A nod to the reviewers:<strong>

**ThorongilAnime: **Thank you much ^_^

**SufferingSamurai2012: **Hope the wait wasn't too long! I hated leaving such a cliffhanger in the last chapter, but that's just where I had to end it.

**Flowergod613**: We are all sick in our way. Hahaha But, hey, she hit one of em at least, huh? Annnnd, future chapters are probably going to be to your liking as far as that goes. *evil grin*

**Akai-Miko: **Happy ending?…erm…well, about that…*ponder face* I DID, however, plant a lemon tree in this story!

**Snowkid: **Thank you, as always!

**tii-chan17: **Thank you, you make a girl blush!

**JenovaJuice97: **Glad your into it, hope this chapter didn't disappoint?

**claymore47: **Thank you, and I'm afraid Nanao-chan has some rough times ahead of her.

**Octavia Brown: **Thank you much!

**Shannyrox101: **I hate cliffhangers too, I actually try to avoid them because I like to finish the whole scene in the same chapter, but I guess they just have to happen sometimes. I'm glad your liking this so far, though!

**SPC Airen: **Thank you, glad you are into it so far. My grammar is terrible, I know, believe me. I need someone to proofread this crap before I go posting it all over the internet :P

**WindMiko: **Thank you, hope the wait wasn't too long.

**ThorongilAnime: **LOL Sometimes, I need a review to kick me in the ass like yours did! So thank you!

**Natalie: **Thank you, hope it didn't disappoint.

**ebonyhatesyou: **Thank you much!


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